Last November, I asked you whether clutter crushes your creativity and gave you five ways to set your office up to increase your productivity.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s all very well, isn’t it? But you’re too flipping busy being productive to spend time filing and decluttering and tidying. Jeez!

Hmm…you sure about that?

Here’s a few little secrets about decluttering and being organised.

1. We’ve all got time for what we want to do

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo Da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein”.

H Jackson Brown, Jr American author of Life’s Little Instruction Book

Ever asked someone to do something for you, only to be told they haven’t got enough time…

…and then noticed that they’ve uploaded a bunch of photos to Facebook?

How come they had time to do that and not what you asked them to do?!

Same reason that you’ve got time for all the stuff you do.
We’ve all got time for what we want to do.

It’s about motivation, baby.

So what’s yours (as a method actor might say)?

Mentally beating yourself up for your messy desk won’t move you forward.
Getting in touch with your vision for your working life will.

Get clear about how you want your working life to be, and then take a look around and assess whether your workspace is in line with that commitment.

“You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.”

Charles Roberts Buxton (English brewer, philanthropist, writer and Member of Parliament 1823-1871)

2. You’re never stressed about time

Uh-uh. No you’re not.
I know it feels like it.
I speak from experience.
I go there constantly.
I frequently feel anxious that I haven’t got enough time to do what I’ve got to do.

So much so that I specifically took the issue on through personal development work. I signed up to coach on a full-on 14 week programme. On top of my already busy working life, I went up to London (from Brighton) for weekly evening sessions and three full Saturdays, provided telephone coaching for four people and ran a project in my local community.

I thought I might explode until I finally got it. And this is what I got:

There’s no reason to stress about time.

The reality is that I’ve made commitments (to myself or others) to do a certain amount of stuff, and I’ve got a certain amount of time to do it in. Either the stuff I’ve committed to do can be done in that time, or it can’t. If it can, great. Nothing to stress about. If it can’t, it can’t.
And there’s some action to take:
I could tell someone I won’t be doing something after all.
I could ask someone else to take something on.
I could reschedule something.
I could think of a quicker way to do something.
I could find a way to combine two activities.

All my anxiety is about something else.

Either I’m attaching some meaning to cancelling, delegating, rescheduling or reworking something (e.g. ‘I’m a failure. I should be able to do this’) or I’m afraid of the meaning I think others will attach to it  (e.g. ‘They’ll think I’m useless. They’ll hate me’).

Once I’ve worked out what meaning I’m attaching, I can see how inauthentic it is. I can see that it’s just a story I’ve made up and not the truth. And that, even if what I’m afraid of does happen, it doesn’t mean what I’m making it mean either. Then I can remind myself that there’s nothing wrong and deal calmly with reality.

3. You get the time back

Sure decluttering and organising your office takes time, especially if you’ve got a backlog of clutter to clear and lots of piles of disorganised papers or other materials to sort out.

Thing is, you get all that time back…and then some.

In a decluttered and organised workspace, you can lay your hand on whatever you need quickly and easily. You no longer waste time searching through piles of paper for the one document you need. You can instantly find contact details for anyone you need to speak to.

Not only that, your thought processes are lighter and clearer. You’re more productive because you’re not distracted by the clutter around you, You’re not brought down emotionally by feeling guilty about the mess you’re working in.

All of which enables you to enjoy yourself. Doing the work you love in a clear, uncluttered space is bliss.

4. Staying organised is easy

Once you’ve invested the initial time involved in decluttering and organising your office,  it takes milliseconds longer to put things away in their designated place than it does to leave them lying on your desk or floor.

Once you’ve got a filing system, it’s quick and easy to slot things into it.  Once you’re using lists and schedules as reminders, rather than leaving pieces of paper lying about, it takes a matter of seconds to add something to a list or schedule and file the relevant bit of paper, or drop it in the recycling bin.

5. The more you do it, the more you’ll do it

Staying decluttered and organised is a matter of building up your organisational muscles.  Just like when you start your new year diet and begin building up your physical muscles, the biggest breakthrough comes when you get started.  You see results straightaway, and that’s so satisfying that you want to keep it up.  Eventually, staying organised becomes a habit and you find yourself not only sticking to the systems you’ve already devised, but developing more.

You know why? Because it’s all about motivation, baby.

And I do believe that brings us full circle…

How are your organisational muscles?
Honed and toned or flabby and shabby?
Let us know in the comments section below.

Rachel Papworth runs Green and Tidy. She helps people with way too much stuff declutter and create homes they love – homes that support them to live the lives of their dreams. A trained coach with a Psychology degree, and a self-confessed decluttering and organising geek, Rachel loves the way decluttering your stuff declutters your mind, and the contribution decluttering and organising makes to living a low impact life. For more tips on having a home that supports the life you want, subscribe to her blog at http://www.mygreenandtidylife.co.uk, follow her on Twitter @greenandtidy and Like http://www.facebook.com/GreenAndTidy.

It’s a challenge, no doubt about it. Children can be demanding, unpredictable and all-consuming. Come to think of it, so can a business.

If you’re growing a business and a family at the same time, sometimes it feels like there’s just not enough of you to go around.

It’s a learning curve for sure, and the more I work with different clients on this, and the more I deal with it in my own experience, the more I find that there is no one-size-fits-all perfect formula for balancing business and family. Some people find that strict boundaries work for them. Others will say that there’s no such thing as balance.

Different things work for different people. It really depends on your personality and preferences. Here are four different approaches I have identified. See which style suits you best.

The Organiser

Probably the most common approach we think of when it comes to balancing business and family is to “be more organised”, to set aside family time, have work scheduled in an orderly fashion, have boundaries and stick to them. It’s all sound advice, but some people definitely take to it more naturally than others.

The natural organiser loves to have things structured, well thought-out and planned. She likes to know what’s coming ahead and prefers to have a set routine, with distinctly separate times for work and family.

For the organiser, balance is a matter of equation. As long as her time, energy and attention is proportionately divided between each of her commitments, life is balanced, like a set of scales.

If you’re an organiser, your sense of balance depends on keeping things separate. You have high standards and like to be able to devote your full attention to each of your commitments in its own separate place and time. If two areas of life get blended together, you’re likely to get distracted, unfocused and frustrated.

Your less organised friends probably envy how your life runs like clockwork in comparison to theirs, but the tricky part comes when plans change. When the unexpected happens. When life refuses to fit into neat boxes. And life with kids can definitely be unpredictable! That’s when you can end up feeling frustrated and out of control.

Tips for the organiser

• Build margin into your plans. It gives you room to manoeuvre when plans change, emergencies or unexpected glitches crop up, or our children (or our clients) decide to operate on a completely different timing!

• Embrace opportunities to create new plans. There’s a great picture that went round Facebook recently that said “If Plan A didn’t work. The alphabet has 25 more letters. Stay cool.” As an organiser, your strength is in planning, so rather than despairing when things don’t go to plan, lean on your strength to plan around the changes. The fact that you’ve planned in the first place means you have a head start in rescheduling, and you’re not starting from square one.

• Celebrate each achievement. Your high standards can lend themselves to perfectionism, and have you being quite critical of your achievements focusing more on what you haven’t achieved rather than what you have.

The Action Hero

You are direct, decisive and you love to get things done. You’re focused on results, so once you start something you want to see it through. You want to dive in and get on with it. In fact, when you have your eyes set on something, your determination and single-minded focus is really quite breathtaking.

You prefer to work spontaneously, rather than to a set routine. You’d rather go hell for leather than take it systematically and while you can see the logic for planning, you can get frustrated or bored if things get too structured. In fact you probably thrive on a bit of time pressure.

Taking action is not a problem for you. Stopping is.

Stopping and starting, switching your focus between family and work, can be really frustrating for you.

When you’re deep into a business project you might find it difficult to switch off, and even when you’re with your family you find you’re still thinking about your business. Your single-mindedness is a talent, but taken too far, your focus can become all-consuming.

Tips for the action hero

• Work in bursts of action. Focus on high impact tasks that make up the overall project, so that you get a sense of completion every step of the way. This can help you to find more natural pauses to switch off, celebrate, reward yourself with some well earned time with your family.

• Be equally intentional about your family time. When you get down to business you probably know exactly what you’re going to do, what impact it’s likely to have, and be raring to go. Get the same energy going with your family time by having some high action, high impact family fun together. The kind that you find yourself eagerly looking forward to and become fiercely protective of. Chances are, it will also fuel you with fresh energy and motivation when you get back to work too.

• Do it your way. Design your business and your goals around what’s important to you – your family. Rather than keep them separate, and trying to split yourself between the two, keep your family central to the business goals that you set and how you go about achieving them.

The Juggler

Jugglers like to keep everyone happy. That’s why they would rather juggle than to drop a ball or put one down. In fact, they are more likely to pick up another ball than to put one down. If you’re a juggler you probably find it easier to say ‘yes’ than to say ‘no’.

You value relationships, so you always make time for your children, your clients and other people. The one thing you hate more than feeling time pressured is when someone you care about is feeling under pressure, so you often juggle your own commitments with helping others too. You get a great sense of satisfaction from helping people, even though you probably suspect you’re a bit too soft at times.

You’d much rather take things at a steady pace, so that you can have the best of both worlds – grow a business and a family at the same time. However, your reluctance to say ‘no’ can lead you to over-committing and becoming overwhelmed with responsibilities. And when something’s got to give, your own needs are often the first to go.

Tips for the juggler

• Repeat after me “Let me have a think about it.” Rhythm is vital to a juggler. When something new comes up, give yourself time to decide how it will fit in with your existing rhythm, where it will fit within your busy schedule. Resist the urge to say ‘yes’ straight away. If something’s worth your help it’s worth your considered, thoughtful help – not just a reaction. And sometimes, for their sake and yours, it’s worth saying ‘no’.

• Schedule in me time. If you’re the juggler, then the only person keeping all those balls in the air is you. If you fall, so does everything else. You can’t expect to disconnect from yourself and stay connected with everyone else, so take some time to look after you. Make it part of your regular rhythm, so that you can give from a place of plenty.

• Ask for help. You know how much of a gift it is to be able to help someone else don’t you? Wouldn’t it be selfish of you not to let someone else have that gift once in a while? Having the wisdom and humility to be on the receiving end of help, can be just what you need sometimes to be able to continue helping others.

The Dancer

Dancers love movement and variety. These are our natural multi-taskers. They can’t help but get involved with lots of different things, involving lots of different people, often all on the same stage.

You’re at your best when you are passionate, expressive and creative. You get bogged down with too much structure and detail, preferring instead to go with the flow and live in the moment. In fact, if you were to try and achieve balance like an equation, you’d probably find that you’re forever tipping the scales one way, then running back to the other side to balance things out, putting your focus more on what you’re not doing than what you are.

As someone who values flexibility and freedom, the idea of putting things and people in boxes goes against the grain. You prefer to see things as inter-connected, looking for ways of doing things that benefit everyone – time spent on your business is time invested in providing for your family. Time spent with your family is time spent connecting with your motivation. Time spent on you refuels and recharges you to be the best mum and business owner and the best you that you can be.

Your idea of balance is more fluid and intuitive than measured. Life as a dancer can be pretty intense. There are times when you’re working hard, there are full on family days, days where you make it up as you go along, and everything in between. Trusting your intuition, adapting as you go along and being creative in designing family life and business around what’s important to you, are some of the fundamental steps in mastering the dance.

Tips for a dancer

• Blend rhythm and variety. Every dance needs a beat, so don’t be afraid to build in some regular rhythm, with lots of room to be flexible. It can help to set a pace, maintain momentum and give you the freedom to invent new steps rather than constantly reinvent old ones.

• Embrace the beauty of simplicity. Sometimes creative, impulsive multi-taskers can get carried away and make things far more complicated than they need to be. Take the time to step back, strip away all the trimmings and get to the core of what you’re doing to restore your clarity.

• Invite others to dance. Let’s face it, it’s much more fun. Your enthusiasm, energy and natural way with people can bring many projects and collaborations to life, while allowing you to draw on other people’s strengths and style, rather than try and be an all-rounder yourself.

Which of these styles resonate with you?

Are you an organiser, action hero, juggler or dancer? How do you balance business and family?
Let us know in the comments below – we’d love to hear from you.

Do you ever get the feeling that you’ve got an angel on one shoulder and a demon on the other?

• One of them is the ‘good’ little angel, encouraging you to do the right thing and keep everything in perspective.
• The other is the ‘bad’ little demon, pushing you to go further, work harder and say ‘yes’ to more people more often.

It’s a difficult phenomena that afflicts two different kinds of people. Cartoon characters, and self-employed women! I’m sure it affects men as well – but we women know the kinds of pressure we’re under – and the way we add to that pressure with our high expectations of ourselves and our businesses!

However, inner conflict doesn’t have to be part and parcel of self-employment. It can feel like one of these archetypal beings is your friend, and the other is your enemy, and invariably they pit what you feel you ‘should’ do against what you ‘want’ to do.

Here are a few examples of the Little Demon’s advice:

• “Don’t let anyone down, ever. Your family, your clients, your staff and even the people behind you in the traffic jam are all relying on you completely, so don’t blow it.”
• “That mistake will affect everything you do for the rest of your life.”
• “That bad day you just had? Everyone saw. And when they look at you, they’re shaking their heads.”
• “You’re not achieving as much as you probably should be by now.”
• “You can’t really delegate your work – there is not a soul alive on this planet who understands your business like you do.”
• “Ok, well if you really are tired, you can rest today. Just forget all about your work and pop some daytime TV on. Then you can work three times as hard tomorrow. It’ll be fine.”

Recognise any of these? The Little Demon isn’t bad, really – she actually represents a big part of who we are. Her approach probably arises from your ambition, enthusiasm, and sheer determination to be successful. However, if you follow this inner slave driver to the letter, life gets pretty hellish.

What about Good Angel?

Her voice is maybe a little more feeble, but she does have something to say to us:

• “You are completely in control of your life, and you will make every day count.”
• “There is enough time in the day to do what you need to do. Pace yourself and do your best, and everything will be fine.”
• “You can be a great mum, a great employer and look great every day.”
  “What could possibly go wrong?”
• “Delegate your work. Your assistant is perfectly capable of taking care of this.”
• “No-one minds if you make a few mistakes here and there.”

Little Angel is almost too good. She’s like a gleaming business coach who tells us we can attain perfection. After all, who doesn’t want to strive to be their best? Her advice is appealing, and it’s tempting to believe in it, but the truth is that no-one is perfect all the time. Life happens, in spite of our very best plans, and there will be times we have to put our goals to one side for a spell when priorities are jostling for attention.

Balance

The truth is, both of these are a little unrealistic. Little Angel is like an unattainable ideal. Little Demon is her perfect foil, but she mustn’t be allowed to take over.

So how do you strike a good balance between the two?

1. Learn to tell them apart
   Ask yourself where these thoughts are coming from, and think them through to their final conclusion. Are you really as bad as you think? Would it really be a business disaster to extend a deadline? Is striving to be a supermum worth it – and are ideals like that worth striving for anyway?
2. What’s the real issue here?
   It may seem like a simple question of diary management, for example whether to accept a dinner invitation on top of a full day of meetings. However, the real question could be much more complex and have more to do with our expectations of ourselves, the expectations we believe other people have of us, and a refusal to acknowledge our own human needs.
3. Apply your own reason
   When we’re busy and stressed, the first thing that happens is we become irrational, which means we’re unlikely to make sensible choices. If you feel pushed, panicky or despondent, you’re not at your best – so it’s probably not the best time to negotiate a new contract or agree to something you’ll kick yourself for later.
4. Take your time
   Business decisions deserve your best attention – which means approaching them when you’re at your best. My colleague uses a great phrase when she’s not prepared to take action on the spot: “Let me think about that and get back to you.”
5. Talk to someone you trust
   When you’re running a business on your own, shouldering a lot of responsibility, good judgement is vital. However, that doesn’t mean you have to deal with things alone. Who knows you and your business well, and can give you an honest assessment of where you’re at? Whether that’s your partner, a business associate or an assistant, try and gather some trusted people around you and test your ideas out on them.

These are my five pointers for negotiating your way between the devil and the angel of time management. They’re both worth listening to, but ideally you need a good blend of the two – adding that final vital ingredient to really taking control of your business and your life – you!

For many business owners, the journey of starting a business is never an easy one.  There are sleepless nights, over 13-15 hour days working on the business, the end of a social life; all this effort for the greater glory of a successful business.  When you find yourself in a position where everything you’ve done doesn’t seem to yield any success it’s understandable that failure is difficult to accept.  After all, you’ve nurtured and grown the business just like it were your child.  You’ve invested time, effort and sweat.  And because it was your passion, 24/7, it is incredibly difficult to admit defeat and let it go.

However, this is one situation where your mind must rule over your heart.  Here are a few indicators to help you make an objective choice.  This is probably one of the hardest business decisions you will have had to make but it is one that will save you time, money, energy and stress.

1. There doesn’t seem to be a demand for your product or service:

You’ve got a marketing strategy, you’ve secured appointments with key buyers in the industry etc; however interests never seems to convert into sales.  If every expert in your industry consistently tells you that there isn’t a demand for your product, then it’s quite possible that your product or service doesn’t meet a need.   It’s easy to have blind faith in your business whereas all the signs tell you the product is of no real value to customers.

2. No working capital:

Simply put, when you do not have the cash and assets required to run your business on a daily basis, then its future is threatened.  If you are constantly pouring in your personal funds then your business is not likely to survive for much longer.  One of the key things accountants look out for in accounts is the ability of the business to operate as a going concern i.e. operate in the foreseeable future.  A lack of liquidity is one of the signs which reveal that a business is not likely to survive.

3. Consistently low sales margins:

If sales margins are low then you are constantly under pressure to generate high sales volume to make significant earnings.  Secondly, if sales are on the decline, you run the risk of erasing profits and running at a loss.  Thirdly, low margins leave very little room for you to market your product and you end up in a viscous circle of simply maintaining your business rather than growing it. Whilst you might believe you have a great product, you must remember that the essence of a business is to yield profit.  If that’s not happening then you might as well maintain it as a hobby and stop investing money in it.

4. Increasing losses:  

Most businesses are unlikely to realise a profit until the second or third year of operation.  Typically you should see losses reducing and profits gradually on the rise.  If you have been in business for two or more years and the losses are getting bigger and bigger, there is possibly a chance that they are only going to keep increasing.  It’s time to stop before you lose any more money.

5. The loss of passion for your business:   

Passion is an essential ingredient for making the journey worthwhile.  However when sales are dwindling and the effort you put in outweighs the gain; it can drain you of energy.  As a result, even the prospect of a new client or a sale doesn’t seem to excite you anymore or even worse, it makes you irritable.  When you’ve stopped having fun and enjoying what you do, then it’s time to quit or devise a new strategy.

6. The effort and time spent is disproportionate to the benefit derived:

Running a business is hard going particularly at the start.  However if you find yourself in a position where you can’t seem to see the benefit of all your hard work, it’s time to reconsider. This is particularly true when you know you have given it 100% and it yields no change.  You will really have to ask yourself if it is worth your time to keep trying to make this business work.

7. There are no growth opportunities or new markets to explore:

Sometimes in business you have to be flexible, revise your business plan and explore other markets for your product than you originally thought.  If you have introduced your product, or service, into different markets and your effort still yields no success, then it’s time to quit.

8. You have large amounts of stock on your shelves:

If you constantly have large amounts of stock on your shelves (and you haven’t restocked), then that’s a clue that your product isn’t selling.  It is imperative that you look into why this is the case.  Is your product seasonal? Is there simply no demand for it? Is your marketing strategy working?  Do your potential customers know about your product?  Have you been a bit lazy? These are pertinent questions that need to be answered soon in order to decide how you are going to proceed with your business.

9. Costs are spiralling out of control:

When you find yourself in a position where your costs are ever increasing, you run the risk of constantly eating into your margins and running at a loss. If you are unable to control your costs and reduce them significantly, the business is most possibly not viable.

10. Your partnership goes sour:

If you are in a partnership that worked well and there now appears to be major disagreements, you can’t seem to agree on the direction you want to take the business and relationships are strained; it’s usually a sign that your partnership might be over.

…Another door opens:

The end of a business doesn’t have to be the end of your dream to be a successful business owner or entrepreneur.  The fact is you have at the very least learnt ‘how not to run a business’.  Although it might have been a very expensive lesson for you, to make the experience meaningful, it is crucial that you analyse the lessons learnt and apply them when you are ready to start again.

“failure is not falling down but refusing to get up”.

When I became self employed I received a lot of doom-and-gloom advice from presumably well-meaning people:

- “It’s hard work from now on – you’d better kiss holidays goodbye.”

- “Self-employment? Fine, if you like working evenings and weekends.”

- “My dad/friend/uncle/milkman is self-employed and he hasn’t had a holiday for 15 years.”

I’ve cheerfully ignored this ‘advice’ and I can happily say that since I became self employed three years ago I have had at least a fortnight away every year, taken Christmas off and plenty of long weekend breaks in between. My business is as strong as ever, my clients have never suffered and I would say my life is richer and more prosperous for it.

However, the practical truth is that if you’re ‘it’ – the sole trader, owner-manager or proprietor of your enterprise, if, in whatever way, you and your business are one, taking a holiday involves plenty of careful planning.

This planning will pay off – you get your R&R, but it will also help you achieve your ultimate business goals. Most of us started businesses because we wanted a more comfortable life, a better work-life balance, or the freedom to pursue a professional or creative dream.

However, running a business can suck you into daily grind that holds you back from doing any of these things – until you’ve mastered the art of breaking free. Holiday time is your chance to practice just that.

Try these 7 steps to a guilt-free fortnight away:

Step 1. Sort out your attitude to time off

Drop the self-punishing, old-fashioned work ethic that says you’re only going places if your nose is on the grindstone. Leaving the work treadmill for food, rest and play shows strong commitment to your business success – because you are only at your best when you are adequately fed and rested.

Pushing yourself into long hours is a fast track to stress, ill health and burnout. Work is just work, and there are plenty of other aspects to you and your life – love, creativity, fun, health – that need and deserve your attention.

If you have any feelings of guilt or panic when you think about being away from your business for more than an afternoon, giving in to them will not take you to a good place. You need to get some perspective. You need a holiday!

Approach your holiday as though it’s a work project, rather than something taking you away from work. For example, you could imagine it as a big order or contract that will take most of your focus for two weeks – which means you’re going to have to clear the diary out for that fortnight. See? It’s easier already.

Looking at it this way helps you value a break as being important to the business – which it is! Your business depends on your wellbeing, so invest in it.

Step 2. Book your break

It doesn’t matter where you go, so long as you’re away, with your laptop far behind you and your mobile switched off. Ideally go where there is a limited mobile phone signal, or prohibitive costs to make and receive calls! To unplug is to unwind.

If you’re feeling twitchy about time off, I’d recommend booking your break at least four months in advance. That gives you plenty of time to plan ahead.

Step 3. Make some decisions

Does your business need to continue at full throttle in your absence, or can you allow it to tick over?

Do your customers and clients need your services day in, day out or can you provide extra products or services in advance to carry them through?

Would two weeks out mean a loss of two weeks’ revenue, or can you come up with a creative way of maintaining cashflow in your absence?

Step 4. Look into your systems

Taking a holiday is a good time to test how functional your business is without you. You need to be aware of what could happen should you become sick or otherwise indisposed, so now is a good time for contingency planning. Can your banking, social media activities, sales or bookkeeping become automated, for example? All will save you time and make your business less dependent on you.

Step 5. Get some help

If you have employees, now is the time to get involved in their development and bestow a little more responsibility on them.

If you are a one-woman band, look around for other businesses like yours who may be able to step in. Your competitors are also colleagues who can potentially help maintain consistency of service to your customers. If you’re worried about client-theft, talk to your solicitor about drawing up an associate contract which protects you from poaching.

Step 6. Communicate!

Decide on your cut-off time for taking on new projects, and don’t allow yourself to be pushed into taking on work you might be tempted to rush. If you’re feeling stressed or resentful, you won’t give it the attention it deserves, so you owe it to the client to be firm with them.

Tell your regular customers well in advance that you’re going away, and encourage them to plan ahead as well. It’s great to feel indispensable, but they can do without you for a fortnight if it’s properly planned. Convince yourself of that, so you can convince them, too.

Step 7. Plan, plan and plan

The earlier the planning starts, the more relaxed you’ll be when you get away. The best plans work with set milestones at strategic points, so establish where you want to be each week before your break. Finally, spare a thought for the post-holiday you, because re-entry can be difficult as you find your feet again. Try and cover yourself for the first few days back by not booking in too many meetings or massive projects you’ll be coming to cold.

If you have any more ideas about how to take a break from your business, we’d love to hear them.  Drop us a comment below – and bon voyage!

Yesterday I was lucky enough to be on Woman’s Hour with Juliette Roffe, the co-founder of Giraffe Restaurants, talking about work-life balance with Jenny Garvey (you can listen to the show here). It’s tough trying to juggle everything, and while Juliette and I were able to talk about our own experiences managing our families and our businesses, in 9 minutes we didn’t have enough time to get into HOW we manage to do it.

I wrote a little bit about my story here in this article, Are you driving your business or is your business driving you but now 18 months later, I’ve got a  bit more experience at trying to do it all and wanted to share some of my learning.

In the beginning

When I started Women Unlimited, I already had a business,  a boutique web design agency based in SW London.   I had started my web company because I wanted to create a business that I could work while I was raising my children.   After my son was born I settled into a nice schedule of working 2-3 days a week, flexibly depending on the amount of projects I had, and really enjoyed myself.  I was earning a great part-time income, enjoyed the work I was doing and spent the rest of my time playing and going out with my new son.

Building business

But after a while, it wasn’t enough for me.  Five months after my daughter was born, I decided that I wanted to build a more substantial organisation, where instead of winning the business and doing the business, I was going to focus on growing the business and found some talented freelancers to do the delivery.  It meant making a commitment to growth, and taking my enterprise more seriously. I’m still not quite sure what the internal driver for this was, but for whatever reason, I started to put more pressure on myself.

And it worked.  In the following 6 months I doubled my turnover, but interestingly, not my profit, and I started working more hours.  I increased the amount of time I was working to 4 days a week, and on one of those days I would drop my children off at the childminder at 6:15 in the morning to attend a breakfast networking session.

And then I decided to launch Women Unlimited.

Ouch!

Always an early riser, my schedule looked like this; 5-7am, 9-4 and then 7-10 pm – every day.   Time was broken down into chunks of business time and kid time.  And when I was with the kids, I was thinking about business.  When I was working my business, I was thinking about business.  I was consumed by my businesses and making them more successful; I rarely spoke to my husband, I was not engaged with my children, and there was nothing left over for me.

Crash

Then the inevitable crash happened.  After the second annual Women Unlimited conference, I was so exhausted and spent, that I literally laid on the couch for 3 weeks wondering what the hell I was doing.  And slowly realised that something needed to change.  I needed to find a way to live my life and create a successful business.  I needed to find a way to be the kind of mother that I wanted to be, the kind of wife that I wanted to be and the kind of woman that I wanted to be.  I needed to find a way to fit more time for me into my life and to be more present so that when I was with my family, I was really with them.

Stop the madness

So I stopped the madness.  I made the decision to put my family first and build my business around them.  I stepped off the hamster wheel and got back on again slowly – finding my way, figuring out where the push points were and how to navigate them.  I stopped working in the evenings (though still early mornings) and started taking my kids to the park more and having friends round.  I started spending more time doing homework (quality time?) and really participating in their lives and enjoying the time we spent together.   Don’t get me wrong, I still work hard, and my children go to after school club 2 days a week, but I feel like I am in charge of my life and my time rather than the other way round.  I am making choices that give me the best of all worlds.

There will always be things that I regret from that period, but I also accomplished a lot in a very short space of time.   And since making the decision to slow down and create more balance, I have also had to make some big sacrifices, including parking my web design business to focus on growing Women Unlimited.  But now, I am enjoying life a lot more and feel much more connected to my family and myself.  I hadn’t really intended to make this into such a personal story, but I think it’s important that we share with each other some of the challenges that we face and how we have overcome them and to learn from each other’s mistakes.

Top tips for work life balance

Here are my top tips for creating more balance in  your life

1. Decide what your commitments are going to be in each area of your life and stick to them
   Make a choice about what your priorities are – you are in control
2. Schedule in ME time
   If it’s not scheduled it doesn’t get done
3. Give yourself some down time otherwise you WILL burn out
   Reading, bath-time, painting – whatever your thing, but give yourself time to not think about business
4. Talk to your partner about how you can share the chores and household responsibilities
   Be clear on how they can help.  Delegate
5. Be organised and write down a weekly schedule so you are able to manage your time
   I’m still working on this — but it does help
6. Get help if you can afford it
   Identify the stress points in your life and find someone who can do them for you.   Getting a weekly cleaner has been a godsend for us.
7.  Get out in the fresh air at least for 15 minutes every day
   It will clear away the cobwebs
8. Learn to say no
   Every time you say yes, one of the other things in your life will have to pay the price
9. Hire some people
   If you don’t already have a team, take on a part-timer who can do the things that you don’t love or aren’t great at and focus all your time and energy on your skills and talents that will build you a successful business
10. Have fun!
    Go out with friends who make you feel good, or do something that makes you really enjoy, at least twice a week.

What are your stories and tips?  We’d love to hear from you about how you have managed to juggle it all -please let your comments below.

Are you feeling overwhelmed by all the roles you play in your business?

Is it starting to get dizzying and nauseous? There is so much to do and so much information on how to do it that it is easy to stay stuck, do nothing and get nowhere! In such a state you are hardly likely to go out there and get clients.

I am sharing with you three steps I have taken, to overcome such overwhelm and frustration. I recommend that you review your operations and take these steps often. Use this as your “Return to Sanity” check list if you like!

1. Stop the merry-go-round

Take a day off (or however long you need) to evaluate your situation. Go somewhere different from your usual work place and answer these questions:

• What are you aiming for? What is your most important goal right now? Remember to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and tangible.
• What is stopping you?
• What options do you have to move beyond this?
• Who can help you?
• What is the best option?
• When will you get started?
• To whom can you be accountable?
• How will you track your progress?
• How will you reward your progress?

Taking time out, in a different location can help you handle things from a new, refreshing and empowering perspective. You are your biggest asset. You certainly need the nurturing! You might find it helpful to go with a friend, or you may benefit more from the solitude. This could be as simple as a leisurely musing while taking a walk in the park, or as exotic as a weekend getaway! It has always worked well for me!

2. Find one guide and follow them

I have met business owners on a myriad of courses, following several “big names,” attending every latest conference, signing up for the latest guru’s  freebies, engaged in a frenzy of activity and who are generally not getting very far! Is it any wonder? I realized early in my entrepreneurial journey that I only needed one guide at a time. How can you possibly get anywhere when you have a collection of gurus, all pointing you in different directions (and possibly competing for your bucks!)? I recommend that you work with just one coach or mentor at any given time, to commit fully to the work you do together and to get the most from it. I have worked with several coaches and mentors, one at a time and this has helped me make great progress.

3. Work on one thing at a time

I know we have very many “compartments” as business owners – work; family; relationships; spirituality; contribution etc. Each one of these is important to us. However, if we devote our energy to the area that is most urgently calling for attention, when we “fix” this, all the others benefit as well! Improving your health, for instance, will positively affect your work, which could also affect your finances, family life and relationships. Working on my business model this year has helped me make very profitable changes. There are other parts of my life and business in need of attention, but this has made the biggest difference for me. I recommend that you pick one thing at a time, apply yourself to it, get the best return on the investment of your resources and avoid the paralyzing states of overwhelm and confusion!

Do you sometimes feel as if you are on some fast-paced merry-go-round and desperate to get off? How do you cope? What has worked for you? What advice would you offer to someone just starting out in business, to prevent the “Merry-go-round” situation? Please share your winning tips with us in the comments box below!

My mother is on the phone and I am reading a work email at the same time.  A colleague is asking me for help with a problem and I’m watching the clock ticking ever closer to six o’clock whilst mentally making plans for the evening.  When that big hand hits the top of its unusually speedy arc I must fly out the door, dash round the supermarket, get home, clean, cook and make myself look presentable before guests arrive.

Does any of this sound familiar?

The result of my mad dash is that I don’t listen properly to my mother.  I send the work email with spelling mistakes and the wrong attachment.  I ‘m unable to help out my team member properly and forget a vital ingredient at the supermarket.  Then upon my friend’s arrival it takes me at least 30 minutes to calm down and take in what she’s actually saying to me.

Now some of that must sound familiar?

We all feel pressure from our many commitments and are becoming super multi-taskers in our attempts to fulfil them.   But there always seems to be just one last thing to do before we’re finished and slightly too little time to whittle our to-do lists down to a manageable size.  In a bid to keep all the balls in the air and let nobody down we end up feeling frazzled, insufficient and often overwhelmed.

With this frazzled feeling and weight of insufficiency bearing down on me I stumbled upon a mindfulness class at my yoga centre.  The poster promised reduced stress and increased happiness – I signed up there and then!

What I learnt on this mindfulness course wasn’t rocket science and wasn’t a deep hidden secret, in fact you’re probably aware of it yourself already.  I was simply taught that in our modern, hectic, frantic, demanding lives we rarely live in the here and now.

We’re all becoming world class multi-taskers so while we’re eating, we’re also reading our emails. Whilst we’re talking on the phone we’re also watching television.  While we’re showering we’re worrying about work.  This means that we aren’t able to experience the present moment because we’re too busy focussing on events in the future or events in the past.

So put simply, if we aren’t aware of what we’re doing in the present moment how on earth can we expect to enjoy it to the full?

Does this sound like a nice ideal for people who have the luxury of time to sit around cross legged?  Don’t worry, mindfulness doesn’t require pristine white Lycra outfits, sitting on mountains or having to walking around in a trance.  It’s about simply about connecting with the here and now, experiencing it fully and honestly, it’s about knowing what you’re feeling.

We’re all busy, and would love to have an extra half hour a day to focus on just ourselves but for many of us this isn’t a realistic goal.  So here a few recommendations as to how you could incorporate just a little mindfulness into a manic day to help ease stress:

Making tea

– whilst the kettle boils notice how you’re feeling, are you stressed? Hungry? Tired? Happy? Excited? or just neutral.  Don’t worry about changing ‘negative’ moods, you’re not aiming to change anything – just concentrate on noticing how you are right here and right now.

Answering the phone

– when your phone rings, get into the habit of taking a deep breath before you answer.  Let it ring one or two rings more than usual and use this time to concentrate on breathing down into your diaphragm.  Recognise how your breathing pattern was before you made the conscious effort to slow it down.

Eating

– eating at our desk or in front of the television is now becoming the norm, but it takes our attention away from one of the most important tasks we do daily, that of giving our bodies the energy they need to perform.  Make a point of regularly eating a meal or snack without other distractions.  Eat for the pleasure of eating, notice the tastes and smell of your food, enjoy these moments for what they are.

Mundane tasks

- take one daily activity such as showering, brushing your teeth or even washing up and when you do this activity, do this alone.  Don’t use it to think about work, worry about the family or plan the rest of the day, just be in the moment.  Notice what you’re doing and recognise the small pleasures that even the least pleasant of tasks can hold.

I’m not promising you that once you’ve followed these steps you’ll be a candidate for the next dali lama, that you’ll never feel frazzled or overwhelmed.  But just practising these simple exercises regularly and over time will allow you not only to experience the present moment fully, but provide you with a little space to allow you to deal with the next item on your to do list with a little more calm and clarity.

About the Author: Natalie Smith, a CIM qualified marketing professional, is an Account Manager at Blaze Communication where she helps clients to build brands, increase sales, excite customers and communicate more effectively. She regularly blogs about marketing on the Blaze Blog (http://blog.blazecommunication.com) and can be found twittering on at @Blaze_Group.

Do you find yourself putting off the things you know you should be doing? Are you currently finding it difficult to get started on something even though you view it as being important? Do you feel guilty for avoiding it but don’t know how to break the cycle? This merry-go-round of lots of thinking but no action is of course the dreaded process of Procrastination, Wikipedia defines this as:

Procrastination refers to the act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of low-priority, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time.

For the purpose of this article, let’s call whatever high priority action (or actions) you have been putting off, ‘Activity X’. Whether it is doing your business accounts, beginning an important presentation you have to give soon or making the first step towards a personal goal you have wanted to achieve for a while, your Activity X won’t be too far from your thoughts.

As you go about your day to day I imagine Activity X travels with you, occasionally making its way from the back of your mind to the front where it knocks and says. “When are you going to do something about me?” Often this spurs on frustration at the realisation that you haven’t made any progress and so when this becomes too much to bear the age old coping mechanism of ‘distraction is bliss’ kicks in. Suddenly you need to do something else, anything else other than Activity X. On days like these procrastination may win another battle but it doesn’t have to win the War!

Another thing feeding the flame of procrastination is self sabotage. The longer time passes by without you taking action it can be easy to beat yourself up and come to the conclusion that you are stupid, lazy, even useless for not getting things done. This destructive self talk is sure to hinder your progress further. To help you move forward, I’d like to encourage you to see that it’s not you that is the problem but that the approach you are taking needs to change.

Before we go on to look at some effective strategies for getting your Activity X done, let’s decrypt the scary P word. So if procrastination is “replacing high-priority actions with tasks of low-priority, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time” all you need to do is find a way of making it easier for you to start important tasks sooner and then sustain action until it’s done. So that’s, a)Get Started and then b) Keep Going, mixed in with a bit of having a good time along the way. It doesn’t seem all that difficult to find your way around it now, does it?

Create Your *Winning Formula*

Now it’s time to put your winning formula together. When browsing through the ideas below, approach these techniques in the same way you would approach a buffet table at a party. As you assess the options in front of you, you may experience a few of the following reactions – “Oh yes that looks great, I definitely want some of that!”, “Hmm, not sure if that’s up my street but I will give it a try”, or you may think, “No definitely not for me”. Experiment with these procrastination busting strategies until you find what works for you. You may even come up with your own varieties.

Here goes nothing…

1. Fall in Love..

Take another look at your Activity X and focus on the benefits it will bring you. What is positive, even exciting about it?

Research has shown that a key reason why we choose to do lower priority tasks over higher priority ones is because the lower priority tasks bring us pleasure instantly. In comparison higher priority tasks bring us pleasure down the line. It is not surprising then that the quick fix activities win most of the time. For example, choosing to meet a friend for a bottle of wine when you had planned to go to the gym, or watching your favourite TV programme when you know you have a report to write.

So the trick is to bring some of the long term pleasure & benefit factor of the important task to the here & now. Spend a few minutes now thinking of what completing Activity X means for you. How will it benefit you? Visualise yourself after completing it, how will you will feel? How will it positively impact you? Will it contribute significantly to the development of your business, or career? Will it improve your health & wellbeing considerably? Crank up this image and the associated feel good emotions that go with it so that the next time you find yourself about to put Activity X off, you can conjure up these associations to give you more reasons for getting started and less reasons for not moving forward. Fall in love with your Activity X, see that it is here to benefit you in some way and it will become harder to ignore it.

2. Have Fun

Another reason why we put a task off can be down to the fact that we consider it to be either difficult or dull, or both. Therefore we are not naturally drawn to getting started in the same way we are to the things that we absolutely love doing.

Ask yourself what would make Activity X a) less daunting for you and b) more appealing. Create a wish list and then set about putting these things in place so that all of a sudden you are actually getting on with it. Your list may include things such as doing some research so that you feel more informed, speaking to somebody who can offer you valuable insight or partnering up with a friend or business associate.

A significant contributor to whether we enjoy something or not is the environment in which we do it. Who says you have to be confined to your usual space of work when undertaking a task?  For example, if you need to put an important presentation together and are feeling a little uninspired, how about you take your office outside and find a good spot in a local park?

Finding joy in tasks that we are used to avoiding is all about knowing yourself and what you need in order to be able to focus and perform at your best. Identify what pushes your buttons and tap into this, before you realise it you will have made considerable progress and actually enjoyed yourself along the way.

3. Take Small Steps

A goal that is important to us can feel overwhelming because so many things need to happen before the goal will be attained. This leaves us feeling, “Where do I start?”, “Do I have what it takes to get there?” The most effective way of achieving a goal is to begin by taking small steps in the right direction. This allows you to get a feel for your goal and learn along the way. It also makes it easier for you to stick to taking action because it is possible for you to imagine yourself achieving the next small but significant step. That popular phrase, “Rome wasn’t built in a day” is appropriate here. Small steps make a big difference.

To do this, make a list of all of the things to do and/or acquire in order to reach the finish line. Then break these down into chronological steps, what is the first thing you need to do? Then the next? Finally break these steps into small bite sized actions, so if the first step is 1) Develop my branding, the first bite sized action may be 1a) Identify my business values, who I am and what I offer. A breakdown of the route to your goal will help give you the confidence that you can get started and also give you a sense of direction as to what lies ahead.

4. Dip Your Toe

Ok so you know what you need to do but the thought of jumping in still seems a little daunting. How about taking the same approach as someone who is training for a marathon? Start by spending a small amount of time on Activity X and then gradually increase this amount of time as and when you feel comfortable. You could start with working on it for 10 minutes, then 20 minutes, then 45 minutes. This will help you build up momentum and relax into new territories. This approach also feels less daunting than a whole hour or day immersed in something that still, at the initial stages at least, you feel a little detached from.

If Activity X requires you putting pen to paper, why not combine this with other things you may do in a week where you find yourself having 5 or so minutes waiting. These short sharp bursts of application are enough to get some good ideas down and take the pressure off you having to sit with it for too long. For example, starting Activity X doesn’t need to be Thursday evening for 2 hours but you could start it when travelling to work on the train, or when you are in the hairdressers. This is a nice way of easing yourself into things until you feel really connected and ready to spend longer periods of time on it.

5. Master Your Fear

Think of somebody whose achievements you admire. What do you think were their key learnings along the way? Would they have felt fear at points?

When we feel stuck and unable to take the next step, more often than not it is because a fear is dominating our thoughts. This fear is quite often around failing or not being perfect. Fears need not have such a hold over us and learning to work through them has an incredibly liberating impact on our lives.

Learning is a key step and one which none of us can bypass. Knowing that we develop through learning is an idea we are all very much aware of, however being comfortable with this process is another thing entirely. The more you can be ok with knowing that you are not going to get everything right straight away and that you will move forward as a result of the learnings you make as much as the successes you attain, then the easier you will find it to take action regardless of how perfect your execution is.

When we are feeling a fear, we look at life through fear tinted glasses. These pick up on everything that heightens and/or supports that fear and makes it difficult for us to see any of the opposing evidence that suggests that everything could well be perfectly ok. By taking a look at the situation with a more balanced view we are open to the full picture and will see one or more of the following things: a) that we have nothing to be fearful of, b) that yes it’ll be a challenge but we are perfectly equipped to deal with whatever we encounter or c) that there are lots of reasons to suggest that the outcome will be good.

Have a play with this now, pro-actively choose to see the positives that suggest you will have a successful outcome and write these down. Also list the strengths and skills you have that will support you in creating a successful outcome. Do you feel slightly less fearful of forging ahead with Activity X now?

6. Make A Date

It can be very helpful to allocate time during the week to working on Activity X, this is far better than a loose commitment of “This week I’ll make a start”. As Life is live and happening to us all of the time, it is worth being flexible with this technique. If out of nowhere you have a really busy week and it gets to the moment you are supposed to be working on your activity and you do not honour this, don’t spend ages fretting about it. Just make sure you rebook it into the diary within the next 3 days if possible and then feel rest assured that you’ll go on to tackle Activity X another day.

If you are going through a really busy spell and lack of time becomes an issue then you can always use the ‘Dip Your Toe’ technique of just doing 20 minutes instead of the hour you initially scheduled. This will be enough to make you feel great for starting and inspire you to pick things up again soon.

7. Do it Your Way

Often tasks that we are putting off are the ones that although important to us, aren’t the things that up until this point have come naturally to us. You no doubt plough through the high value, high enjoyment tasks you do with energy and ease. However the high value, low enjoyment tasks feel both intimidating and tedious so no wonder they get put off.

A more realistic and successful approach to these type of tasks is to just do it Your Way. By letting go of how you think it should be done and focusing on how you want to do it, you’ll make progress sooner and with more energy than if you were getting caught up on a rigid format.

A great example of tackling high value, low appeal tasks is how a client of mine tackled her business plan.  As a very talented Creative she was struggling with putting together a business plan as for her a business plan conjured up an image of a dry excel spread sheet littered with corporate speak. I encouraged her to work with her strengths as a Creative and map out her business plan freely on a piece of paper with colour and pictures. By applying a creative process which came so naturally to her she was able to articulate where she wanted to take her business in detail quickly and effortlessly. She then built upon this until she had added the financials and a marketing strategy. This comprehensive plan can now be adapted to another format if required, such as if she were to have a meeting with her Bank.  However if she had tried to start with an excel sheet then the process may not have been quite so fruitful. As it stands she managed to complete her Activity X within 10 days.

8. Inspire Yourself

When our energy is low and the thought of getting on with Activity X feels us with dread, what we need is a fast track way of experiencing the benefits that this will bring us. An effective way of tapping into this quickly is to have something that encompasses all that is great about doing and subsequently competing Activity X. Your something could be a picture, song or an item that represents your goal to you, as long as it is something you can carry around with you so that it is there to inspire you to choose action over distraction as frequently as possible.

Over time you’ll find the great feelings you experience when you conquer each step of your Activity X so potent that ‘doing’ gives you a far better buzz that just ‘thinking’. The great thing about achievement is that it is addictive and so just a few small accomplishments will make you feel unstoppable!

7 Day Challenge..

If you are stuck in a rut then I would like to help you move forward by supporting you in taking the first few steps in the right direction. If you’re up for the challenge of getting started within a week, then email me at donna@bedynamic.co.uk and tell me what you are going to achieve in the next 7 days.  In one week I will be in touch and see how you have got on. Go on, go for it, you’ll surprise yourself…

A survey last year found that 40% of us have indulged in office romances. Not surprising really, when you consider this is where we spend most of our waking hours, and often socialise with our colleagues after hours. If you have a vacancy for a spouse/soulmate/spring fling, then your biggest pool of candidates for selection is probably at work.

In my HR career I’ve seen couples meet, marry and stay together at work. I’ve also had to do damage limitation for dramatic break-ups and brief encounters that would be worthy of any soap opera, plus a few X-rated movies! The road to workplace romance is paved with potholes (I think the Council were resurfacing it, but they ran out of money). Here’s a few FAQs on those dangerous liaisons…

Are workplace relationships allowed?

Depends on your workplace! Under 15% of organisations have a formal policy in place (such as prohibiting hierarchical relationships), but this doesn’t mean that it isn’t frowned on. Many organisations are wary of workplace romances in case of potential fallout when people fall out, such as sexual harassment claims.  So be aware of any policy, and adhere to it – better than keeping things a secret and risking being found out and disciplined, or worse!

I’ve got the hots for someone at work – what should I do about it?

Firstly, put the fantasies on hold for a moment and have a reality check. Is the other person interested? If not, any advances could be seen as harassment. Even if they reciprocate, is this just a hormone-charged crush, fuelled by a set of temporary circumstances like working late together or a boozy office party? Or is there a real potential for a long-term relationship?  Do they work in your department? Are they more senior or junior than you? Are they renowned for being the office Romeo? All of these things are worth taking into account before you take the watercooler flirting to the next step, as they will all have some bearing on the below issues…

What will other people think?

That could depend on who it is you’re seeing. If it’s your boss, cynical types may think you’re trying to boost your career or curry favours – not conducive to workplace harmony! Same-sex relationships may be doubly difficult (but remember you’re protected by discrimination law). You also don’t want to get yourself a reputation – and frustratingly, the reputations we get are never as flattering as the ones the guys get! I knew a couple who were caught ‘in flagrante delicto’ at work – he was hailed as a hero by workmates, while she received anonymous crudely-drawn willies in the internal mail. Nice.

Research shows that while colleagues are frequently disapproving of a frivolous fling or a career-enhancing connection, they are more condoning of something perceived to be a serious relationship. But people will always gossip, so be wary of who you tell – you don’t want the information falling into the wrong hands!

How will it affect my work?

Again, depends on the nature of the relationship! If you’re blissfully happy, it could improve your morale, motivation and productivity. Alternatively, you could be distracted, make mistakes, neglect your work or, as in one case I came across, be constantly sneaking off for lascivious liaisons in the store cupboard. Which probably won’t win you the Employee of the Month award really.

How can I get away with it?

The big rule is be discreet, so no public displays of affection (this doesn’t mean playing footsie under the boardroom table instead!) Stay professional at all times – this includes keeping your fights outside work as well as your flirts. And while you may love the thrill of the illicit, avoid acting out those ‘office sex’ fantasies! With desktop rumpy-pumpy you’re risking a lot more than a random staple in the bottom – is it really worth it?

What if we break up?

Sorry to be cynical here, but statistically speaking, you probably will. If you’re lucky you’ll go back to being platonic, professional colleagues. But then again… Can you really continue to work together? If it’s an acrimonious split, one or both of you may be too distressed for that to be possible. If your ex is your boss, they could make your life a misery or even damage your career. What if one of you is still pestering the other for a reunion, or continuing hostilities? The worst-case scenario is if it becomes litigious.   I once had a case where 2 people had split acrimoniously and one took out a restraining order against the other, meaning they had to stay at least 50 yards apart.  Not easy when they worked in the same office! Ultimately, one of you may have to leave  – and sadly in these cases, it is usually the woman that does so, particularly if they are the more junior person.

Could I be dismissed?

If your company policy clearly states restrictions on romance and you breach the policy, then yes, this could be classed as gross misconduct. If there are no stipulations in place, you could still be disciplined or dismissed for misconduct if you have been harassing someone or causing workplace disruption. Larger companies may be able to redeploy one of you to keep you apart, but smaller organisations may not have the resources to do this, which could lead to dismissal. Employers can potentially resort to the legal catch-all of ‘Some Other Substantial  Reason’ for dismissal – for example if they claim that your working relationship is no longer tenable and the business is being adversely affected by it.

So these are some of the potential pitfalls. In short, be as sure as you can be before you take the plunge. Who knows, maybe you will live happily ever after! But then can you really both live and work with this person, or will it all be too much? Even for the successful romances, maybe work just isn’t the best place in the long run!