Today, I just wanted to share with you an inspiring poem that I came across  that I really enjoyed.

I hope it speaks to you in the way it spoke to me

One Life

One song can spark a moment,
One flower can wake the dream
One tree can start a forest,
One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,
One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea,
One word can frame the goal

One vote can change a nation,
One sunbeam lights a room
One candle wipes out darkness,
One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey.
One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,
One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,
One heart can know what’s true,

One life can make a difference,
You see, it’s up to you!

Author unknown

When we feel fear it is our minds way of warning us that we are about to embark on something that could harm us either emotionally, physically or both. Fear is a learned survival system which typically evokes the infamous fight or flight response in us. However fears can be unnecessary and so it is important to challenge those that we feel are getting in the way of us achieving our business and personal goals. Is fear getting in your way? Well you can overcome this brick wall by developing a new approach to fear and reducing its hold over you.

Flights, Heights and Rejection

In many studies done on this topic it has been found that among things such as flying and heights it is common for people to fear social rejection and failure. Therefore the coping mechanism employed by most people, either consciously or sub consciously, is to avoid situations where these feelings may be triggered. The only problem with this approach is that for us to move forward, have and achieve what we want in life, we have to put ourselves in situations that may feel a little uncomfortable. The consequences of remaining stifled by fear can be enormous. As human beings we have a need to feel in control of our own destiny so if a fear is getting the better of us it can eat away at our self worth. Also it can mean that we limit our potential by staying within our comfort zone and remain merely daydreaming about what we could do or be.

Public Speaking – Should it become an extreme sport??

Another thing that features highly when people are asked about their fears is public speaking. Let’s explore this further with a character I’ve made up called Susan. Susan runs her own cake making business and is keen to attract more customers. Whilst at a local networking event Susan is selected for an opportunity to stand on stage and talk about her business for 2 minutes. The only problem being that public speaking is right up there as one of Susan’s biggest fears. Why? Because she believes she is no good at it and fears being rejected by those who have to endure her ‘nervous dribble’. When approached by the Event Host with this proposal, Susan instantly freezes as her worst fears consume her. One of 2 scenarios then follows…

Scenario 1. Fight

Susan takes a deep breath and approaches the stage. Trembling a little she approaches the microphone and begins to introduce herself. As her heart races she can feel her voice breaking as she speaks. She manages to smile through the knots of embarrassment in her stomach whilst trying to convey the key features of her business. After her 2 minutes is up, Susan leaves the stage feeling a little hot and bothered and very pleased the ordeal is over with. As she gathers her thoughts back safely amongst the crowd she begins to reflect, “Ok my pitch wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t bad either, I can’t believe I just spoke to a room full of people!” Suddenly somebody approaches her. “Excuse me Susan, I really like the sound of your business, I run a Catering company and am looking for a new cake supplier. Does this sound of interest to you?”

Scenario 2. Flight

Susan begins to panic as she feels the Event Host usher her towards the stage. Overcome by fear and feeling out of her depth Susan explains to the Host that she is terribly sorry but was supposed to leave half an hour ago as she is meeting a friend. “Thank you so much for a great event, I must be off now,” Susan says quickly as she backs away towards the door. As she pulls her coat on and scampers up the street towards the train station, feelings of disappointment and inadequacy begin to build within her and she wonders whether she is really cut out to make her business the success she dreams of.

In Susan’s case you can see what effect letting fear control you can have on you and on your goals. The decision and consequence cycle creates a self fulfilling prophecy from which fears become invisible boundaries in our lives, determining what we do and what we do not do.

Susan’s example reminds me of that great film. ‘Sliding Doors’. The premise of this film, i.e. the outcomes of cause and effect, could be an interesting way to consider the key decisions you make in your life. To do or not to do, that is the ultimate question! By the way, Susan chose scenario 1 and faced her fears. Are you proud of her? I know I am.

Be an Explorer – The Learning Perspective

Adopting an explorer type outlook on life frees you from the constraints of having to be master of all you try. As an explorer you enter into new situations with intrigue and flexibility as to what the outcome will be. You are after all out to discover, investigate and learn from your new surroundings. Therefore if you come away from the experience having learnt more about yourself or with ideas as to what you could do next time, then you can feel proud of the fact that you are moving forward. This eyes & mind wide open approach shifts how you feel in a daunting situation as the focus is on what you are learning and not on how perfect you are. Just as Susan bravely gave her 2 minute elevator pitch against all odds, although it wasn’t perhaps as polished as she would have liked, she undoubtedly benefited from exploring the situation even though it was incredibly daunting for her. Would she give another presentation now that she has got the first one out the way? You bet she would.

Success or Failure – Where’s your line?

Another way of overcoming your fear is to open up your parameters of what equals success. Following on from taking an Explorer approach to situations that fill you with fear, decide for yourself what you would like to take away from the experience, regardless of the outcome.

Again using a public speaking scenario as an example, a restrictive view point would be:

• Stumbling over my words = Failure
• Sounding a little nervous = Failure
• Butterflies in my stomach as I talk = Failure

In comparison, a more productive view point would be:

• Stumbling over my words = Success, I am speaking in front of people and so will learn from it
• Sounding a little nervous = Success, I am speaking in front of people and so will grow from it
• Butterflies in my stomach as I talk = Success, I am speaking in front of people and so will move forward with my business

Go 4 It

Taking yourself through a process to help you calm down and think through situations clearly is extremely helpful when you are consumed by fear. Here is one I made earlier…

G: Gather Your Thoughts – Unless you are being thrown to the lions take comfort in the fact that really you are OK and that you will come out the other side of this situation, wiser and stronger.

O: Open Your Mind – Remember it is not about being perfect, it is about being passionate about what you are doing. Let go of trying to achieve 100% and enjoy the new experience.

4: 4 Reasons for Doing It – Remind yourself of why it is important you see it through by identifying 4 reasons for going ahead. How will taking the plunge benefit you?

I:Inspiration – Recall why you were inspired to go after your goal in the first place. Is moving one step closer to your goal worth feeling the fear and doing it anyway?

T: Take the Jump – 3, 2, 1, jump!

• Not Jumping = No Growth
• Jumping with Explorer Perspective = Growth

Make Fear Work for You

As fears are learned from past experiences it is both possible and beneficial to learn from them. The key point is that you are in control and can choose on what scale to listen and act upon a fear and in so doing can make a fear work for you. If you are feeling a fear around a certain area in your business or personal life, then you can view this as the fear giving you insightful clues as what you can do differently the next time you enter this situation. In Susan’s case her fear of public speaking could motivate her in preparing a business pitch that she can use at the drop of a hat, or take up public speaking classes. Recognise fear, assess what you can learn from it but do not let it rule you.

Be Your Own Biggest Supporter

I believe self worth is the starting point to happiness & success in life and so the more time you spend building upon and valuing who you are, the more you will get out of your life. For ideas on how to build your self worth please see my previous article for Women Unlimited – Knowing Me Knowing I

Venturing into unknown territories and growing as a result is addictive. The more comfortable you get with stepping outside of your comfort zone, feeling the fear and working through it, the more freedom you will have to seek what it is that you want. There’s no such thing as ‘crashed and burned’ just ‘explored and learned’. What are you waiting for?

Last week saw the end of an era. Oprah Winfrey stepped down from her throne as Queen of Daytime TV in the US after 25 years of dominating the airwaves. Spending my formative years in Canada, I grew up watching Oprah as a teenager and always found her shows to be interesting, inspiring and uplifting. Unfortunately, here in the UK, her show was relegated to one of the lost channels in the 200′s on Sky so she was never able to spread her magic as effectively here.

Oprah Winfrey is an amazing woman as anyone who is familiar with her story will already know. After being taken from the safe care of her grandmother, she was molested repeatedly as a child, denied refuge from social services and finally moved in with her father when she was a teenager, where she found a place to thrive.

I was moved to write this blog post today, because in her final show, Oprah shared many inspiring messages, including this one, which I think is particularly relevant to all of us entrepreneurs…

10 things we can learn from Oprah as a small business owner

1. Find your true calling.

In her closing moments Oprah stated ”Everybody has a calling. And your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it.”  As entrepreneurs, we have an advantage over others, as we have already made the difficult decision to go it alone.  Some of you will already be following your heart, others, not so much.  The thing is, once you are truly connected to your purpose in life, the business becomes easy.  It’s easy to make choices, it’s easy to know what to do next (though not always so easy to get up the guts to do it!) and it’s easy to keep your energy focused on your business.  Are you following your true calling?

“Forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, harness your power to your passion. Honor your calling. Everybody has one. Trust your heart, and success will come to you.” Oprah

2. Inspiration sells.

Given a choice between Oprah and Trisha, I know who I would choose.  Oprah had a genius for keeping her show all about the positive.  She never got stuck in the mire like other talk show hosts and dedicated her life to using her platform to inspire and educate others.   You’ll often find experienced marketers tell you to find your customers pain (and to turn the knife a bit!) … apparently people don’t buy feeling good.  Oprah proves this wrong, and shows us that feeling good can sell too!  Does your marketing and content make people feel good about themselves?

“Let your light shine. Shine within you so that it can shine on someone else. Let your light shine” Oprah

3. Be true to yourself.

Oprah was constantly barraged with opportunities that did not meet with her focus and objectives for the show.  She was approached by numerous people wanting to get on her show.  But she was very clear on what did and did not constitute an Oprah show and only did the shows that reflected her values and her brand.  By staying true to herself and her show’s values, she was able to keep the quality of the show high.  Are you making compromises in your business that don’t feel right?

“If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. That’s the lesson. That lesson alone, will save you a lot of grief. Even doubt means don’t.” Oprah

4. Use multiple channels

While we may not all have Oprah’s budget and reach, we can use the channels that are available to us to spread our good word and work.  Oprah used TV, Radio, her website, Y0uTube, Twitter and her magazine O very powerfully to spread her message.  The great thing about this, is that if one way wasn’t available or didn’t fit with our schedules, there were a multitude of others that would.  So, while I didn’t watch her TV show here, I was able to read her fabulous magazine O to get my dose of good old Inspiration every month.  What other channels could you be using to market your business?

“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” Oprah

5. Act quickly when something isn’t working

Oprah was warm and engaging on stage, but make no mistake, she was an incredibly savvy business woman and she was quick to make a change when something wasn’t working in one of her businesses. Earlier this year, Oprah launched OWN, The Oprah Winfrey Network, a television in partnership with Discovery Networks.  When network ratings were slow, the  Network head Christina Norman left rather abruptly after only 4 months in the job.   Do  you make hard decisions quickly in your business?

“Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.” Oprah

6. Put YOU into your business

The reason that Oprah had such a long and successful show on TV was because she was real and relatable.  She was true to herself in everything that she did and made herself very approachable through her warmth and connection with her audience.  She was not afraid to show who she was and this made her more endearing to those who watched her.  Everyone who watched her show felt like they knew her, like she was their friend.  And in many respects she was.  How can you put more of yourself into your business?  How can you make your clients and colleagues feel like they know the real you?

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Oprah

7.  Work hard

There is no doubt that Oprah worked hard.  In 25 years of taping, she never missed a show, not once!   Everyday, she would show up at 6:00am, no matter what.  It is reported that her executive assistant clocked up over 800 hours of overtime between January and April one year, that’s a 12.5 hour work day!  If her assistant was putting in this kind of time, you can bet Oprah was putting in more.   In the preparation video that Oprah shares on her site, she shares how grateful she is to be able to go out and buy herself a coffee before her meeting that day, and how she is looking forward to spending some time with her friends.  In 25 years, Oprah was consumed by her work and it is clear that she would not have achieved the level of success that she did without that dedication to her craft.  Could you be putting more into your business?

“The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.” Oprah

8. Keep on keeping on

This is the other side of acting quickly when something isn’t working.  Oprah never sat back and left her fate to the gods.  She lived through an atrocious childhood, faced racism and sexism early in her career and yet still she prevailed.  She never gave us up on dreams. Success does not happen overnight (much as we might wish it did!), it takes time, effort and showing up.  It was these challenges that made Oprah the woman that she is today.  These challenges gave her the strength of character, self determination and resilience that she is known for.  Are there areas in your business that could use more focus and persistence (moxie anyone?)

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.” Oprah

9. Be Bold

Oprah committed to everything she did 100%, whether she knew it was going to work or not.  One of her great philosophies is that we miss out on life if we don’t take risks and she is doing exactly this by leaving her show to focus on her new OWN network.  Make no mistake, even for someone of  Oprah’s stature this is an enormous risk.  But exciting for her as well and I am sure that she is looking forward to the challenge that this new venture is giving her.

“Devote today to something so daring even you can’t believe you’re doing it.” Oprah

10. Leave them wanting more

Oprah retired from her show at the top of her game.  She easily could have continued for years, very successfully, but instead she decided to leave while her show is still the number 1 daytime talk show in the USA.  Oprah knew her time had come and decided to step down while she was still at the top.   This allows her to now focus on her other ventures and move onto the next stage in her life.  By making herself less available on regular TV, I’m sure she will use her new channel to maintain her presence in people’s lives.

“I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.” Oprah

If you enjoyed these 10 things, please feel free to share it on Twitter or Facebook and tell us what memories you have about Oprah in the quotes below.

Yesterday at our 3rd Annual Conference, we showed this video as part of the introduction to the event.  We put it together to celebrate 100 years of inspiring women, as this is the 100th year of International Women’s Day.   These are just a few of the women that have each changed the world for the better in their own way.

These women are all leaders in their fields and inspiring in so many ways. They share the traits of courage, self belief, determination and tenacity. They each had a vision of what they wanted to achieve and set out to achieve it. One of the things I want you to all think about when you are watching this video is what you want for yourself. What do you want to achieve? What is your vision? What do you need to do to make that happen?

Let us know what you think and who your inspiring women are – we’d love to create more videos like this that reflect your female heroes.

7am Monday morning and my alarm goes off yet again, the fourth time since I pressed the snooze button thirty minutes ago. Finally I drag myself out of bed and dash into the shower. I have just under an hour to get dressed, made up, run out the door and get to the train station in time to catch the 9 o’clock train.

Dressed to the nines in my designer suits, hand bags and stiletto heels, I was always the perfect picture of a successful city worker. Deep in the midst of the hustle and bustle of London commuters scurrying to grab spaces on the jam packed trains, I fitted in really well.

On the outside

I had what appeared on the outside to be a dream life; I was earning a very decent salary having acquired a degree in Accounting and Finance on the ‘advice’ of my parents. “It is a reputable and well paid profession“, I remember them saying. But the saying never judge a book by its cover swiftly comes to mind. Although my life was nice and glittery on the outside, the truth was I was deeply unhappy in my career.

Living the life

After years of studying and building a successful career, I was desperate to get out of the industry, but I was at a total loss as to what else I could do. I had made several attempts to change careers, but each time meant having to start at the very bottom and working my way up. I really could not afford a pay cut; I was heavily in debt with huge bills to pay. Who I was and how I perceived myself was defined primarily by my job status. My lifestyle was built on the premise of how I thought a woman of my “calibre” and “status” should live; expensive lunches, fancy health club memberships, regular shopping trips at Harrods and Harvey Nichols, spa breaks and holidays etc. True to form I ‘lived the life’ well, but deep down I was extremely miserable and totally unfulfilled.

On the inside

Relief for me always came at night after work. In the comfort of my home I would binge on food to my heart’s content, only to make myself sick afterwards. I did this almost every night for hours on end but no one knew about it. One night after a huge binge session, I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror and cried my eyes out. My life was a mess and I knew I was living a lie, pretending that I was happy and in control of my life. Far from it! I desperately needed help, but shame would not let me muster the courage to tell anyone.

A difficult decision

One morning in one of my many uninspiring finance meetings, I found myself firmly holding my legs down to stop me from running out of the meeting room, screaming and shouting “I’ve had it! I’ve had it! I’ve had it!” I simply could not take any more of living like this.  I was fed up of attending meetings that I could care very little about. I was done with talking about balance sheets and financial instruments that meant absolutely nothing to me. I was not prepared to spend hours doing something that I dreaded so much. This most certainly was not what I wanted for my life. That day I decided I needed to seek help and make changes.

Journey of discovery

I sought counselling, life coaching and spiritual guidance. I knew I had to deal with the root of my deep seated unhappiness, my bingeing and excessive shopping addictions.  I was encouraged by my counsellor to go on a personal retreat, a journey inward to discover who I really was. I discovered layers of amazing truths about me.  I had no real personal definition of myself, who I was and who I wanted to be. My desire to conform to family, cultural and societal expectations caused me to gravitate towards whatever I thought other people thought I should be.

But why did I do the things I did? Who was I really doing it for? Why did I feel the need to only wear designer brands and labels? Why was I so paranoid and overly obsessive about my weight and appearance? Why could I never leave my house without wearing makeup?  Why was I spending thousands of pounds on hair extensions when I had perfectly beautiful natural hair? To my horror I discovered that I had spent the equivalent of a small mortgage deposit on hair extensions alone, over the past ten years.

Why did I worry so much about what people thought of me? Why was I so afraid of disapproval as result of not meeting other people’s expectations of me? Why did I always want to fit in? Why did I feel the need to be liked? I simply did not have the courage to dare to be different, to go against society’s status quo.

Redefining me

After a barrage of soul searching questions, I decided to take the bull by the horns and redefine me. It was time to ‘fix’ my self identity, this time not according to anyone else’s evaluation of me, but according to my own personal convictions, desires and ambitions. What I needed was a Make-under!

I took out my 18 inch hair extensions, and reverted to wearing my own natural hair, which with every passing day I have grown to love immensely! I weeded out my wardrobe and started wearing clothes that reflected my true personality and unique style. I was done with following expensive fashion trends. I ditched some of my 5 inch heeled stilettoes for more comfortable flats. I learnt how to love my body and totally accepted that I didn’t have to look like a super model!

A career change was definitely what I needed. I went on a number of courses, studying subjects I really enjoyed, including handbag making and a diploma course in Styling. I have recently started a Counselling course.

Setting up MY business

My greatest achievement to date is setting up a Style Consultancy called “Style ‘n Shine” which is focused on helping women discover their authentic style as part of their journey of self-discovery. Today I am so much happier and fulfilled in doing what I love most – making a difference in the lives of women like myself.  I have come to appreciate my natural affinity for the fine things in life, beautiful clothes, hair, bags and shoes. The difference is now I understand that these things must never be acquired at the expense of one’s true happiness. What I wear and how I look is simply an extension of me, not a definition of me.

About the author: Oby Bamidele has years of business experience and now runs a successful style consultancy helping women with their journeys toward self-discovery. email her at oby @ stylenshine.co.uk or visit her website www.stylenshine.co.uk

I love this time of year, the festive season reminds us to be  loving and kind,  to friends and family.

But spare more than just a thought to others like our neighbours and our wider community.

We can all reach out and give that extra helping hand, to someone in need, or just because it’s a nice thing to do.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
that’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Maya Angelou

I would like to say a huge thank you, my life is more rewarding since I stumbled across women- unlimited, and I am blessed to be able to contribute regularly to such an inspiring company.

So the above poem is for all women, Phenomenal women.

Stay blessed & positive this festive season,

Karyn Bascombe

About the Author: I am permanent student at the university called LIFE.  I am a proud mother of 3 young people 21, 17, and 8; they are my daily inspiration.  I am a freelance feature writer, and I also create and deliver inspirational programmes for girls.  I love what I do, my one important rule of thumb is, always remember people first!
Email:wagsport@yahoo.co.uk

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“Thank you very much Richmond, you’ve been a great audience” Claire came off the staging area…my heart was beating so hard in my chest I couldn’t hear what Gabby Logan was saying as she talked to Claire after her set. Oh, I think she’s finishing up…

I feel sick ….

And now ladies and gentlemen, please help me welcome Julie Hall …

I stood up in front of the mic and looked out to the sea of faces before me… were they going to laugh?  had I done enough?  would I remember my script?

“It’s been 7 hours and 3245 days since my last cigarette…” and I was off.

“You must do the thing, you think you cannot do” Eleanor Roosevelt

This is one of my favourite quotes of all time … so when I was asked if I would perform 3 minutes of stand up comedy with 4 other business women at the Bingham Hotel last Tuesday evening, I had to say yes.

The Funny Women Challenge took me and 4 other brave (crazy?) business women, and turned us into stand up comics for a night, all in the name of charity (the New Victoria Medical Foundation).  I’m still not sure how Lorna Votier, the Charity Manager, persuaded us all to take leave of our senses and agree to stand up in front of a crowd and share a series of things we find funny.   But she did.

The fear

I have some experience standing up in front of a group and speaking, usually to groups of 15 – 30 women, occasionally to groups of 250, but never have I been as scared as I was in the lead up to my stand up debut.

Thankfully, I had some techniques to deal with fear as after doing the Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway workshop that is run by Di MacDowall for Women Unlimited (and are running again in February), but nothing could totally prepare me for the reality of my stand up experience.

Laughter keeps us sane and gives us joy and being funny comes naturally to most of us when we are talking with friends.  But scripting funny, is a whole other matter.   Karen Darby calls it a naked parachute jump.  By standing in front of a crowd and saying “this is what I think is funny, I hope you do too”, I was exposing myself (not literally – though that might really make them laugh!) to a group of people who did not know me and hoping that they would laugh with me.

“That is the best – to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.” Gloria Vanderbilt

I learned a lot about myself and about comedy in the lead up to my performance but the lessons that I learned were not just about stand-up; they were about fear, bravery and self belief.  Alright, all I was hoping for was to come out the other side without making a complete ass of myself.  But in hindsight, I realised that there were some valuable lessons that came out of the experience…

Doing the thing…

Commit to the goal.  This is the key to everything.  Decide what you are going to do and then do it.  No excuses.   Make yourself accountable with no get out jail free card. I had committed to raising the money for charity and to standing up with these women.  They were counting on me, I was counting on them.  I probably would not have done my stand up without that accountability.

Preparation is everything. The more prepared we are, the easier it is.  Write copious notes.  Use mind maps.  Script out what you have to say or do.  Make sure you have a really strong foundation from which to do the thing.

Good enough is good enough.  This is another one of my favourite sayings.  As women, we often want to keep going until it’s absolutely perfect.  However, perfection is an elusive task master and eventually you have to say, “I think this is good enough” and you can tweak it going forward.  But stop developing and get it out there so that  you can get feedback.

Practise Practise Practise.  Practice has a lot of benefits, particularly if you are able to do it in front of other people.  You can get immediate feedback  on what you are doing and can see where the gaps are.   The more you practise, the more natural and easier it becomes.  Practise in the shower, in the car, in front of the mirror… Just keep practising until it feels comfortable.

Eat the elephant one piece at a time. If you have a daunting task ahead of you, break it down into bite sized chunks and just get started.   Write down the tasks / things that need to be done and do them one at a time.

Do what ever YOU need to do to prepare.  We are all different and all have different coping mechanisms… I went shopping in the afternoon (very cathartic!), had my makeup done (felt great) and took some quiet time out away from the crowd to calm myself and prepare.  What do you need to do to put yourself in the right place before your big moment?  Make sure you look after yourself and give yourself space

Relax. Show up 30 minutes early and find a quiet place to relax.  Quieten your mind and don’t drink any coffee or tea (seriously!).  Read your notes, prepare yourself, do a last minute practise… and then rest your mind.  There is nothing more you can do now other than embrace the moment.

Confront your demons. We all have them.  The nasty little voice that sits on your shoulder saying “what if you suck”, “what if you fail”, and in my case “what if they don’t laugh”.  Think about the worst that can happen and you’ll realise that the worst is not really that bad.  Really.  ”What if you suck?” – well now you have learned that you need more practice and you will be better next time.  ”What if you fail?” – well at least you have tried. Embrace the learning,  figure out what went wrong and try it again… think Thomas Edison

I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.  Thomas Edison

and “what if they don’t laugh?”  Well, I decided that it was only three minutes and I would probably never see 95% of the audience again and my humiliation would short lived (thankfully, they did laugh but I had mentally dealt with the what if they don’t scenario)

It will be alright on the night. Believe in yourself and your success.  Practice visualisation and imagine a great outcome.  It will put you in the right frame of mind and keep you calm.  And it really will be alright on the night.  You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish if you put  your mind to it.

But the best thing about confronting a fear and working through it, is that it removes all the barriers.  Every time I realise that fear is holding me back from doing something, I can look back on this experience and know that there is nothing to fear, but fear itself.

… and finally

Karen Darby, Julie Hall, Gabby Logan, Claire Pelenc, Mel Burgess, Nora Berge, Viv Groskop, Jan Ravens

I’d like to thank my 4 amazing co-comedienne’s who took the mantle and stood up alongside me.  Karen Darby, savvy chavvy mother and founder of Simply Switch and Call Britannia, Mel Burgess, hormonal hottie and Business Development Manager for Newsquest, the Claire Pelenc, Liverpudlian chocolate lover and regional director for Athena in Richmond and Twickenham and Lidl loving Fraulein Nora Berge, my new feisty German friend who is changing the lives of all the people who live in a village in Kenya.  Also, a big thank you to Gabby Logan who was hilarious as the MC and if you ever meet her in the street, make sure you tell how good she used to look (as you can see from the photo, she still looks fabulous!)

I’d also like to thank Viv Groskop and Elizabeth Seeley for their fantastic mentoring and support. Lorna Votier of the New Victoria Medical Foundation who persuaded me to take on this challenge (and who I think should do the challenge next time, what do you say Lorna?) and last but not least, Lynne Parker, the founder of Funny Women for her training, friendship and support.

Between us, we managed to raise around £4000 for the New Victoria Medical Foundation.  Which is an amazing accomplishment in itself and if you would like to donate to this fantastic charity and support the challenge, you can do so here on my sponsorship page.

Lynne also running a Funny Women Stand up to Stand Out workshop on January 29th, and you can find out more here and discover what all the fuss is about.

So what is the thing that you think you cannot do?  Why not give it a go – you might surprise yourself!

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At the BusinessMums Conference this week, Brighton based Yummy Lollies picked up the Best Growing Business BusinessMums Award and London’s Third Door was named Best Start Up.

The Awards are an integral part of the BusinessMums Conference, a day to celebrate the growing number of women who combine motherhood with entrepreneurship, and to inspire those who are just getting started.

Within just four years, Yummy Lollies has 700 outlets selling its real fruit ice lollies across the UK. Winners Sarah and Zoe of Yummy Lollies say, “We are shocked and delighted to win the Best Growing Business BusinessMums Award. I’m sure it was very evident that we didn’t except to win the award as there were so many amazing women at the conference who have achieved so much. We believe it will make a fantastic difference to us and our business. The recognition that comes with receiving the award is great as we have already had lots of lovely emails and messages from people congratulating us and wishing us continued success. The award has already found pride of place in our lovely new office.”

Third Door offers flexible workspace with on-site childcare. Shazia Mustafa, Managing Director of the business and mum of two, scooped the Best Start Up BusinessMums Award despite having been in business for only four months. For Shazia and her husband Yusuf Chadun who took a sabbatical from his regular job during Third Door’s launch phase, the Award makes their hard work worthwhile.  “It hasn’t been easy opening up a business of this scale during a recession while looking after our own two young children. But knowing that we’re helping parents get the work life balance they need has been our motivation,” she says.

The BusinessMums Conference celebrates the achievements of mothers with businesses, with the inaugural BusinessMum Awards showcasing truly outstanding business mums. There were two award categories: Best Start Up and Best Growing Business. For more information on the BusinessMums Conference go to www.businessmumsconference.co.uk

‘The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive.’ ~Thich Nhat Hanh

These days we have an abundance of luxuries, but I’ve found that excess actually decreases my enjoyment of life.

Sure, we can get massive amounts of rich foods, feasting to our heart’s content, stuffing ourselves in alarming displays of gluttony … but is that really enjoyable on a regular basis?

And yes, television can be fun, and so can ridiculously large parts of the Internet, but if it’s always on, if we’re always connected, doesn’t that lower the fun factor?

Excesses lead to all kinds of problems, but the biggest problem is that life is less enjoyable.

I’ve been finding that simplifying things means I can savor life more fully.

Savoring life starts with a mindset. It’s a mindset that believes that excess, that rushing, that busy-ness, that distractedness, isn’t ideal. It’s a mindset that tries instead to:

• simplify
• do & consume less
• slow down
• be mindful & present
• savor things fully

It’s the little things that make life enjoyable: a walk with a loved one, a delicious book, a chilled plum, a newly blooming tree.

And by simplifying, we can savor life to the fullest.

Some ideas I’ve been considering lately:

1. Coffee:

Instead of ordering a latte, mocha, cappuccino with whipped cream and cinnamon and shavings … simplify. Just get pure, good coffee (or espresso), brewed fresh with care and precision, with quality beans, freshly roasted. Make it yourself if you can. Drink it slowly, with little or nothing added, and enjoy it thoroughly.

2. Tea:

I recently had tea with Jesse Jacobs, the owner of Samovar Tea Lounge, and he poured two different teas from tiny tea pots: Nishi Sencha 1st Flush and Bai Hao Oolong tea. It was fresh, hand-made tea from real leaves, not a tea bag, and it was simply delicious. Drink it slowly, with your eyes closed, fully appreciating the aroma … wonderful.

3. Workouts:

I’ve been a fan of simpler workouts recently. While others might spend an hour to 90 minutes in the gym, going through a series of 10 different exercises, I just do 1-3 functional exercises, but with intensity. So I might do some sprint intervals, or a few rounds of pushups, pullups, and bodyweight squats. Or 400 meters of walking lunges. Let me tell you, that’s a simple but incredible workout. Another I like: five rounds 85-lb. squat thrusters (10 reps) alternated with pushups (10 reps). Today’s workout was three rounds of 15 burpees and 800-meter runs. No rest unless you need it. These are great workouts, but very simple, and very tough. I love them.

4. Sweets:

I used to be a sugar addict. Now I still enjoy an occasional dessert, but in tiny portions, eaten very slowly. What I enjoy even more, though, is cold fruit. A chilled peach, some blueberries, a few strawberries, a plum: eat it one bite at a time, close your eyes with each bite, and enjoy to the fullest. So good.

5.Meals

While the trend these days is super-sized meals of greasy, fried things (more than two people need to eat actually), I have been enjoying smaller meals of simplicity. Just a few ingredients, fresh, whole, unprocessed, without chemicals or sauces. My meals usually include: a breakfast of steel-cut oats (cooked) with cinnamon, almonds, and berries; a lunch of yogurt, nuts, and fruit; a dinner of beans or tofu with quinoa and steamed veggies (or sauteed with garlic and olive oil). These simple meals are better because not only are they healthy, each ingredient can be tasted, its flavor fully enjoyed.

6. Reading:

While the Internet is chock full of things to read, I’ve been enjoying the simplicity of a paper book, borrowed from the library or a friend (borrowing/sharing reduces natural resources consumed). When I read online, I read a single article at a time, using either the Readability or Clippable bookmarklet to remove distrations, and in full-screen mode in the Chrome browser (hit Cmd-Shift-F on the Mac version or F11 in Windows). It’s pure reading, no distractions, and lovely.