We become self-employed because we want control over our lives and choose who we work with, what we charge and how we manage our work/life balance.

If you were to take a step back and ask yourself how that’s working out for you, what would you reply?

Listening is vital to being a good boss – so have a good old chinwag with yourself and listen carefully. Are you overworked? Do you feel appreciated? Do you have the direction and focus you need to get job satisfaction, or are you overwhelmed with miserable, routine tasks?

Your most important responsibility when you’re working for yourself is you. It’s up to you to ensure you’ve got the best working environment to promote your wellbeing. If productivity or profits are down, morale is low, and quality is suffering – it’s up to you to do something about it, before there’s a mutiny in the ranks!

Cast your mind back to the bosses of your past. Who were the great ones, and what was it they did that you loved? Who were the awful ones, and what did you grumble about?

Here’s my self-management checklist for what to do and what to avoid.

To be a good boss, you need to…

Be appreciative

Tell yourself you did well. Honestly, look in the mirror and say it! It’s too easy to stop noticing and appreciating those little things. No-one else will give you the daily encouragement you need, but your motivation will suffer without it. When you reach an important goal, reward yourself with something you enjoy. List your achievements and put them on your noticeboard.

Care about you personally

Do you feel valued as a person when you’re working? Do you cut yourself some slack when you’re ill? Remember, you wouldn’t have a business without you so you deserve to be valued. Plus, people who feel valued are happier, more productive and relaxed.

Care about your personal development

That dream boss who is keen to help you reach your full potential, professionally and personally, can now be yours! What are your aspirations, your life goals, and your vision for the future? As a good boss to yourself, you can take a genuine interest in pursuing these. Whether you need to find a mentor, take some training or attend a personal skills workshop – the choice is now yours!

Give proper focus and guidance

Why are you doing what you’re doing? What defines your daily task list, and what vision are you trying to fulfil? Unproductive, stressful work happens when these questions aren’t being asked. So give yourself clear direction by regularly assessing your personal and professional priorities and organising your work accordingly.

To avoid being a bad boss, avoid being…

Over-critical

We are all our own worst enemy – and when we’re our own boss, self-criticism can reach screaming pitch. If an actual boss spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves – dismissing our successes, picking up on every little mistake and berating our looks, we would have strong grounds for legal action! So go easy, show yourself understanding and let yourself be.

A bully

One of the characteristics of bullying set out by the TUC is ‘setting a person up to fail by overloading them with work or setting impossible deadlines’. That phrase could also be a definition of bad self-management – do you heap work on yourself and set crazy deadlines? Be honest. The out-of-control task list is a good place to start. If you set yourself tasks more quickly than you cross them off, consider setting a more manageable pace.

A slavedriver

What kind of hours are you putting in? How much work do you take on? Do you organise your workload according to your own capacity, or are you constantly trying to fulfil your clients’ slightest whims? The temptation is to promise the earth when you’re trying to win that contract – but you’ll pay for it later. Remember to be true to yourself in everything you do, no matter what the pressures.

A ditherer

There is nothing more frustrating than a boss who can’t make their mind up, or who needs to consult their line manager, their mother and a personal astrologer before deciding on anything. One of the hard truths about being in business for yourself is that every single decision is down to you – and this can feel like quite a weight. Again, all you need is a good vision, business plan and strategy against which you can test every option that comes into your life.

So what kind of boss are you to yourself, and where can you improve? Hopefully this little checklist will give you some pointers on where you can improve. Happy managing!

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About the Author: Catherine Lee is a business blogger and founder of Kaleidoscope Virtual Assistant Services.  She has more than 20 years’ experience in office management and Personal Assistant Services, and is now an indispensable right-hand woman to executives working all over the country. Catherine is also on a mission to inspire women to make careers as self-employed Virtual Assistants, and to encourage Virtual Assistants to remember they are giving essential, professional business services and to know their own worth.

When we feel fear it is our minds way of warning us that we are about to embark on something that could harm us either emotionally, physically or both. Fear is a learned survival system which typically evokes the infamous fight or flight response in us. However fears can be unnecessary and so it is important to challenge those that we feel are getting in the way of us achieving our business and personal goals. Is fear getting in your way? Well you can overcome this brick wall by developing a new approach to fear and reducing its hold over you.

Flights, Heights and Rejection

In many studies done on this topic it has been found that among things such as flying and heights it is common for people to fear social rejection and failure. Therefore the coping mechanism employed by most people, either consciously or sub consciously, is to avoid situations where these feelings may be triggered. The only problem with this approach is that for us to move forward, have and achieve what we want in life, we have to put ourselves in situations that may feel a little uncomfortable. The consequences of remaining stifled by fear can be enormous. As human beings we have a need to feel in control of our own destiny so if a fear is getting the better of us it can eat away at our self worth. Also it can mean that we limit our potential by staying within our comfort zone and remain merely daydreaming about what we could do or be.

Public Speaking – Should it become an extreme sport??

Another thing that features highly when people are asked about their fears is public speaking. Let’s explore this further with a character I’ve made up called Susan. Susan runs her own cake making business and is keen to attract more customers. Whilst at a local networking event Susan is selected for an opportunity to stand on stage and talk about her business for 2 minutes. The only problem being that public speaking is right up there as one of Susan’s biggest fears. Why? Because she believes she is no good at it and fears being rejected by those who have to endure her ‘nervous dribble’. When approached by the Event Host with this proposal, Susan instantly freezes as her worst fears consume her. One of 2 scenarios then follows…

Scenario 1. Fight

Susan takes a deep breath and approaches the stage. Trembling a little she approaches the microphone and begins to introduce herself. As her heart races she can feel her voice breaking as she speaks. She manages to smile through the knots of embarrassment in her stomach whilst trying to convey the key features of her business. After her 2 minutes is up, Susan leaves the stage feeling a little hot and bothered and very pleased the ordeal is over with. As she gathers her thoughts back safely amongst the crowd she begins to reflect, “Ok my pitch wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t bad either, I can’t believe I just spoke to a room full of people!” Suddenly somebody approaches her. “Excuse me Susan, I really like the sound of your business, I run a Catering company and am looking for a new cake supplier. Does this sound of interest to you?”

Scenario 2. Flight

Susan begins to panic as she feels the Event Host usher her towards the stage. Overcome by fear and feeling out of her depth Susan explains to the Host that she is terribly sorry but was supposed to leave half an hour ago as she is meeting a friend. “Thank you so much for a great event, I must be off now,” Susan says quickly as she backs away towards the door. As she pulls her coat on and scampers up the street towards the train station, feelings of disappointment and inadequacy begin to build within her and she wonders whether she is really cut out to make her business the success she dreams of.

In Susan’s case you can see what effect letting fear control you can have on you and on your goals. The decision and consequence cycle creates a self fulfilling prophecy from which fears become invisible boundaries in our lives, determining what we do and what we do not do.

Susan’s example reminds me of that great film. ‘Sliding Doors’. The premise of this film, i.e. the outcomes of cause and effect, could be an interesting way to consider the key decisions you make in your life. To do or not to do, that is the ultimate question! By the way, Susan chose scenario 1 and faced her fears. Are you proud of her? I know I am.

Be an Explorer – The Learning Perspective

Adopting an explorer type outlook on life frees you from the constraints of having to be master of all you try. As an explorer you enter into new situations with intrigue and flexibility as to what the outcome will be. You are after all out to discover, investigate and learn from your new surroundings. Therefore if you come away from the experience having learnt more about yourself or with ideas as to what you could do next time, then you can feel proud of the fact that you are moving forward. This eyes & mind wide open approach shifts how you feel in a daunting situation as the focus is on what you are learning and not on how perfect you are. Just as Susan bravely gave her 2 minute elevator pitch against all odds, although it wasn’t perhaps as polished as she would have liked, she undoubtedly benefited from exploring the situation even though it was incredibly daunting for her. Would she give another presentation now that she has got the first one out the way? You bet she would.

Success or Failure – Where’s your line?

Another way of overcoming your fear is to open up your parameters of what equals success. Following on from taking an Explorer approach to situations that fill you with fear, decide for yourself what you would like to take away from the experience, regardless of the outcome.

Again using a public speaking scenario as an example, a restrictive view point would be:

• Stumbling over my words = Failure
• Sounding a little nervous = Failure
• Butterflies in my stomach as I talk = Failure

In comparison, a more productive view point would be:

• Stumbling over my words = Success, I am speaking in front of people and so will learn from it
• Sounding a little nervous = Success, I am speaking in front of people and so will grow from it
• Butterflies in my stomach as I talk = Success, I am speaking in front of people and so will move forward with my business

Go 4 It

Taking yourself through a process to help you calm down and think through situations clearly is extremely helpful when you are consumed by fear. Here is one I made earlier…

G: Gather Your Thoughts – Unless you are being thrown to the lions take comfort in the fact that really you are OK and that you will come out the other side of this situation, wiser and stronger.

O: Open Your Mind – Remember it is not about being perfect, it is about being passionate about what you are doing. Let go of trying to achieve 100% and enjoy the new experience.

4: 4 Reasons for Doing It – Remind yourself of why it is important you see it through by identifying 4 reasons for going ahead. How will taking the plunge benefit you?

I:Inspiration – Recall why you were inspired to go after your goal in the first place. Is moving one step closer to your goal worth feeling the fear and doing it anyway?

T: Take the Jump – 3, 2, 1, jump!

• Not Jumping = No Growth
• Jumping with Explorer Perspective = Growth

Make Fear Work for You

As fears are learned from past experiences it is both possible and beneficial to learn from them. The key point is that you are in control and can choose on what scale to listen and act upon a fear and in so doing can make a fear work for you. If you are feeling a fear around a certain area in your business or personal life, then you can view this as the fear giving you insightful clues as what you can do differently the next time you enter this situation. In Susan’s case her fear of public speaking could motivate her in preparing a business pitch that she can use at the drop of a hat, or take up public speaking classes. Recognise fear, assess what you can learn from it but do not let it rule you.

Be Your Own Biggest Supporter

I believe self worth is the starting point to happiness & success in life and so the more time you spend building upon and valuing who you are, the more you will get out of your life. For ideas on how to build your self worth please see my previous article for Women Unlimited – Knowing Me Knowing I

Venturing into unknown territories and growing as a result is addictive. The more comfortable you get with stepping outside of your comfort zone, feeling the fear and working through it, the more freedom you will have to seek what it is that you want. There’s no such thing as ‘crashed and burned’ just ‘explored and learned’. What are you waiting for?

Where are you in feeling passionate about your business?

Do you greet each new day with the thrill and excitement, as it was when you first started?

Or do you dread the start of the day and eagerly count the minutes until the day finishes?

Why should you relight the fire?

If you don’t have passion for your business, how can you expect your customers to change their behavior and buy the products and services you are offering?

Without passion you risk your business heading into a death spiral….you have no passion for the business, customers don’t feel inspired to buy and slowly your business erodes as revenues decline and your passion continues to die….

Passion is the fuel that enables us to push that bit harder to complete a task, it’s that spice that encourages us to pick up the phone to make those business development calls and it gives us the sparkle in our eyes whenever we discuss it.

Passion is contagious, attractive and essential!!

People buy from people who they feel are passionate about what they have to sell – you must have it to truly succeed in and enjoy your business. And what is the point of having your own business if you don’t enjoy it?

So if your passion is waning, how do you get it back?
Try the tips listed below to raise the dial on your passion meter!

1. What’s Your Connection with the Business?

When you think about what you offer to customers, what is your connection with it? For instance if you are a jeweler, do you love creating beautiful objects that make their wearer shine, or if you have a health supplements business, are you committed to a healthy lifestyle and believe others should benefit from this as well?

Take some time to think about the aspect of your business that really is your connection to it. Mine, for example, is creating materials that help women thrive in their business.

2. How Often Do You Connect?

Now you know what your connection is with the business, consider how often you actually do that. Do you spend enough time doing what you love or in reality is that time eked away by administration, day-to-day tasks or procrastination?

3. Connecting More Frequently

Imagine what you would feel if you did connect with your business more often in the way you described above. What feelings would you have about your business? Would you feel more joyful, inspired or maybe even more worthwhile?

4. Is This Enough?

Time to get honest…is connecting more frequently with what you love in your business really going to raise your passion? I hope so! But sometimes it takes a little more introspection. Take some time now to write out the five  things that are passion poppers…could it be a grumpy customer, the commute, maybe doing tax…what are those things that maybe still drain your passion even when you are connecting?

5. Eradicate the Passion Poppers

Time to get creative! Take each of your passion poppers and think of a way to eradicate them! Can you outsource, do time barter with someone who loves what you hate to do and vice versa, fire that customer etc.

Set down a time in your diary to make that solution happen!

Remember:

It’s only you that stands between you and your passion being reignited!

About the author: Wendy Kerr is passionate about helping women business owners succeed in their businesses. She creates courses and resources designed to give women in business the Aspiration, Attitude and Actions to EXCEL!!

For more information visit http://www.ToolsForMomentum.com

Do you feel as though you are not getting the results you want in your Business due to a lack of time?  Are you neglecting some areas of your life because there are just not enough hours in the day?  Do you feel frustrated that you just cannot seem to get everything done?

If these sentiments resonate with you then it may be that you have lost your sense of focus and direction.  Juggling running your own business on top of managing your personal and home life can pull you in so many different directions at once that you end up not moving forward at all.  When you try desperately to keep lots of balls in the air at once it can be easy to lose sight of your goals and so stray away from using your time productively.

Fear not, it is never too late to turn things around.  You just need to take a productive pit stop in order to move forward in the right direction and get your goals back on track.

A Pit Stop on Life..

5 Ways to Regain Focus & Motivation

1. Sit Back & Observe

Begin by reviewing what is currently happening in your life.  An effective way of doing this is to disassociate yourself with the situation by thinking about it as a film with you being the main character.  If your life was playing out on the big screen, what would you see?  What would be getting in that person’s way?  Then make a note of your observations as these will inform your decisions about what changes you can make.

2. Identify Unhelpful Behaviour Patterns

What behaviour patterns do you have that do not serve you?  For example deciding to reorganise your paperwork (even though it doesn’t really need doing) when you know you should start that proposal you have been putting off.  Recognise when you are engaging in avoidance behaviour by inventing a code word or phrase that will make you smile.  It is important that the phrase you choose makes you smile as its purpose is to act as a gentle reminder that you could choose to spend your time more effectively.  For example, “Jelly beans on toast!”  This will help you to break the cycle and encourage you to turn your time and attention towards something more constructive.

3. Pinpoint Valuable Activities

Research has shown that 80% of the valuable outputs we generate comes from just 20% of our efforts.  The trick is to identify what your top 20% of activities are and then increase the amount of time you spend doing these.  Focus on each area of your life where you hold a goal and list the 3 activities in that particular area that add the most value.  Then estimate approximately how much time you spend doing these activities each week as a percentage.  You may be surprised to see that you do not spend as much time on these high value activities as you could and so are not capitalising on your use of time.  Now with your top 20% in mind, plan your week to increase the focus on doing more of what works.  The results will speak for themselves.

4. Crank Up the Feel Good Factor

How can you muster the energy levels, positivity and strength of mind to achieve what you want to achieve if you are not feeling good about yourself?   Investing time in the things that make you feel good is fundamental to success across all areas of your life.  Think of this time as important as water is to a plant, without which you will be fighting for survival.  List all of the things that make you feel great and make sure you do at least 3 of these a week.  This could include a variety of things such as exercise, spending time with friends or going for a walk in the park.

5. Use Your Success Tactics

Make tackling challenging activities easier and more enjoyable by creating a list of the things you can tap into that give you support, encouragement and motivation.  Your success tactics could include motivators which bring about positive feelings of success and happiness in you such as a song, a picture or a photograph.  Alternatively you could consider environment easers that make you feel more relaxed in new situations such as going to a class at the gym with a friend, or doing thorough preparation before a meeting.

Performing a pit stop on your life allows you to evaluate and optimise upon your use of time, accelerating you forward to achieving your goals.  Repeat a pit stop at least every 3 months or whenever you feel you have lost direction and you will be well on your way to living a happy, fulfilled and focused life.

About the Author: Donna Joy Hubbard is a Certified Life Coach and Director of BeDynamic Life Coaching – www.bedynamic.co.uk .  Donna is passionate about empowering people to live their lives to the full. Applying research led and creative techniques, Donna helps individuals unlock what it is that they truly want and identify how they can achieve this confidently and effectively. Donna’s clients include people from a variety of professional backgrounds including; Professional Services, Broadcasting, Events & Marketing and Health & Beauty. Donna believes that passion plus a strategic plan = success in achieving your life goals.  This is what BeDynamic calls a Strategy for Life.

BeDynamic helps individuals to unlock what they truly want by letting go of external influences to free their mind and their potential. Coaching with us is a journey of self discovery empowering you to be self confident, vibrant and in the driving seat of your life. This is to BeDynamic. BeDynamic is a member of the Association for Coaching.

Yesterday at our 3rd Annual Conference, we showed this video as part of the introduction to the event.  We put it together to celebrate 100 years of inspiring women, as this is the 100th year of International Women’s Day.   These are just a few of the women that have each changed the world for the better in their own way.

These women are all leaders in their fields and inspiring in so many ways. They share the traits of courage, self belief, determination and tenacity. They each had a vision of what they wanted to achieve and set out to achieve it. One of the things I want you to all think about when you are watching this video is what you want for yourself. What do you want to achieve? What is your vision? What do you need to do to make that happen?

Let us know what you think and who your inspiring women are – we’d love to create more videos like this that reflect your female heroes.

Having time off over the Christmas period gave me chance to catch up on TV watching different programs I wouldn’t normal tune into.

BBC News 24 at some crazy time early in the morning showed an interview with Richard Reed one of the founders of Innocent Drinks. Richard Reed founded Innocent in 1998 with two friends from Cambridge University, Adam Balon and Jon Wright.

I found it highly refreshing to watch and listen to Richard who appeared very down to earth, honestly speaking about their extreme difficulties early on in business, facing countless rejections and ‘doors shut in faces’ trying desperately to get their product to market. When eventually at the last hurdle ready to the throw in the towel, they found someone willing to back their idea and take it to the next level. Their sheer persistence and hard work paid off.

I also watched a BBC drama called ‘Come Rain Come Shine’ with David Jason starring as the happy, content father of the family. The son, who lived with his family in a posh house with expensive company car, fell foul in business which culminated in selling up and moving back home to live with his mum and dad. A stark comparison as his parents were incredibly happy and wanted for nothing and were so obviously content with their lot.

My immediate reaction to this was to see who was successful in life. Definitely the mum and dad who had achieved their goals and ambitions, even though not as lavish from an outsider looking in, they were content and did not crave what the son so much wanted which had eventually been his downfall leaving him in a very sorry state.

How do you measure success and what does it mean to you?

Any business small or large capable of surviving the recession and if we are to be believed from the media, telling us that 2011 is likely to be a grim and difficult year ahead, is a success.

Determination

Going back to the interview with Richard Reed from Innocent Drinks he starts off by saying the best things about being an entrepreneur is the freedom of being able to change things, which is a very liberating feeling. To run a business you need to have sheer persistence, determination and a cast iron will to move forward. An ability to go without and manage, knowing that eventually things will improve, even if it means taking a step back to move forward every now and again.

Sadly we have seen so many of our business friends and colleagues closing down their businesses to find employed positions during the recession, knowing full well there will be more to go.

Positive attitude

A really positive, bubbly and optimistic lady who runs her own self employed cleaning business phoned into BBC Radio Sheffield this lunchtime as they were hoping to hear from people who were required to work over the festive period. She happily described being self employed as the best thing ever as it brought independence and flexibility demonstrating a definite success story.

Obsession

I read a quote from Mike Lynch, founder of technology giant Autonomy, who said that if you really want to succeed, you might need to be a little bit crazy too:

“You have to be utterly obsessed and if you’re not it’s very hard to be successful…you’re probably better working in a business that’s already established”.

Freedom

We do live in a fantastic generation where changes happen at such a fast rate it becomes more and more important to keep up especially if you run a business. The communication technology like Skype, allowing me to talk to colleagues and clients in California, the virtual teaching with students at the colleges, has allowed me the independence and freedom to work from home. I certainly wouldn’t have this freedom and opportunities if I was an employed member of staff with a boss working for a company or organisation. Yes there are obvious trade off’s like no pay for being sick or time off work but this actually counts as a very low priority in my mind.

So personally, when things are looking grim or I’m having a bad day which does happen, I only have to remind myself of the alternative, which is travelling to work using public transport and answering to a boss. Not likely to happen!

About the author: Tracey Clarke, Virtual Administration, http://www.virtual-administration.com Virtual Administration provides hourly rate admin and creative support services to businesses UK wide.

On January 1st 2011 we celebrated our 5th year in business with many, many more exciting opportunities to come. I am blessed to work with a great partner and have on board some fantastic Associate Virtual Assistants who are a delight to work with. So this is our success and we aim to continue growing with sheer persistence and determination and look forward to the challenges ahead.

I don’t know about you but I have had to really focus to gain any sort of excitement for the year ahead let alone the next decade. I feel a real fraud writing this for everyone to read as so many people refer to me for inspiration and motivation and yet, this last week has been really difficult for me. I can’t explain or provide any reason why it has take me longer than usual to be positive, motivated and fired up about 2010. Reading Twitter and all of the positive 140 character tweets delivered by those I follow have actually made me less enthusiastic. As everyone around me appears to be so positive – why have I felt so different?

I feel even more of a fraud, because in my book BOOM! 7 Disciplines to control, grow and add impact to your business – I extol the virtues of having a strategic vision for your business – and I truly and wholeheartedly agree with my statement. This vision not only provides direction and focus – it should also be so positive and motivating that on those “bad days”, there is something to refer to – to remind you why you are doing what you are doing. And of course, to know that you have achieved – you need to establish desired outcomes/goals etc. So I truly understand the importance and value of establishing goals – achievement is far more likely when you know what you are aiming for.

Why, then, have I found it so difficult to set any goals for the next 10 years, or indeed 1 year? I know that the New Year/New Decade is an ideal time to set down some clear goals – both short term and long term – and yet reading and hearing about this everywhere – and I mean everywhere – the media, social media sites, the TV – I have felt a bit of a failure. I haven’t been able to focus on any sort of goals – up until yesterday.

I am writing this blog, because I want everyone who is struggling with feeling positive about the start of another 10 years to know that they are not the only ones on this planet who is perhaps lacking direction. We are all human. But what has changed in the last couple of days – why have I been able to start to get excited – how have I managed to focus on everything exciting which is just around the corner? More importantly what can you do to establish some sort of focus in your life – albeit short term or indeed long term?

I was asked the simple question – What have you achieved in the last 10 years? It was by reviewing the last 10 years which has made me recognise just how much is possible in the next 10 years! In the last 10 years, I set up my business, sold my business, married my husband, had two more children – taking my family to three, moved house several times and started a new career as a speaker/mentor and of course written a book! Just even considering this, has made me realise that the next ten years can be just as exciting – and what I want to achieve is basically down to me. All of our achievements are different but are as equally as important – I asked the same question, to a friend of mine, who simply replied, I have achieved contentment. What a wonderful achievement. It was her answer, which made me realise that anything is possible.

Even so, I still wasn’t quite ready to be excited about 2010 and the next decade – I still felt a fraud – I kept telling myself that others expected me to be positive, focussed and motivated and to have clear goals in place, and I still wasn’t able to do this. Then I remembered a part of my book, (Business Discipline No.7- Personal Motivation) which reminded me that we can’t always be highly motivated. I say in all my talks, that perhaps the hardest part of running your own business, is to maintain personal motivation and that in fact it is sometimes the hardest part to do. It is also the one part which you can’t “outsource” such as accountancy, design, HR or indeed marketing – you need to find it for yourself. When I accepted that I couldn’t always be this highly motivated person, and indeed gave myself permission to not be as expected, I started to feel better about everything!

So what have I done?

What can you do?

1. Write down your key achievements for the last 10 years – be honest and true – these are for no-one but you – so no need to exaggerate or overstate – simply be honest.

2. Consider how you felt at the beginning of 2000 – did you really believe that you would achieve everything you have?

3. Write down what you would like to achieve in the next 10 years – don’t put up barriers as you write these things down – simply write down what you would like to do. Remember – these are just for you – so no need to consider anyone else and their reaction.

4. Take the most important elements and consider them as an end destination for a journey (in this case, a 10 year journey). Consider the most appropriate journey you would like to take to get to this end destination. There are always many ways to arrive at a destination – even from London to Cambridge, you can walk, drive, take a train, take a coach, fly, go by river and even go via Lands End if you wanted – none of them are wrong; you need to find the right route for you.

5. Now consider the stop-over points on your journey – where you may take a rest, review your journey so far, reconsider where you are heading – and these become your smaller stepping stones – your shorter term goals.

Really focussing on the above five steps, has helped me get excited – particularly about my final destination and my first stop-over. I must admit I haven’t defined all of my stop-over points yet, but there is no need I know where I am going – I can review my 2nd stop-over when I have arrived at the first! It has suddenly all made sense again…… Establishing Goals/Outcomes really do work – but only when they are yours – and they come from within…

I have done these five steps for my personal life and my business life and I truly suggest that you do the same.

I was worried for a while – I can tell you. Lack of motivation, no enthusiasm and no direction is not a good starting place for anyone let alone a Motivational Speaker/Small Business Expert. I am sharing this with you because it is important to know that everyone is human and if you are truly lacking direction and don’t know where to begin – this blog, may just help you.

Note from Julie:  I read this blog on Emma’s website and could really relate to it.  I asked her if I could re-publish it so that if you are going through the same thing  you will know that you are not alone!  As Richard Reed of Innocent Smoothies said “The difference between those that are successful and those that aren’t, is that the successful just keep on going!” (I’m paraphrasing, but hopefully you get the idea)

___________

About the Author: Emma Wimhurst is a successful Entrepreneur, Motivational Speaker, Business Mentor, Author and Business Turnaround Expert.  Emma is also the author of Boom! and a regular speaker for Women Unlimited – you can see her live at both of our conferences, our mini-conference on Jan 20 for those who are starting out and Stepping into Success on March 8th.

The new Harry Potter film – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- was eagerly awaited as it came out a couple of months ago now. It has been quite a while since we have seen the intrepid youngsters battle the forces of Voldemort and watched as his Dementors suck the soul out of everything … or is it?

Unfortunately The Dementors are at work in every business and every organisation.  We have all encountered those people who only seem to be happy when they are moaning about something and continually blame other people when things don’t work out. The ongoing negativity of some colleagues and clients can drain your energy, gets in the way of progress, limits what is achieved and frankly just gets on your nerves!

Does the following situation resonate with you at all?

You have a fantastic idea that will make your business or team or department more successful.

You are very keen to introduce this new idea/initiative/innovation to your staff/team/colleagues/ clients.

As a Leader you have spent time deciding on the best way to implement the change.

You have planned how it will be put in place.

You have worked out when it will be introduced.

You have designed how it will be monitored.

You are really enthusiastic and can visualise exactly how successful this will be.

You are now ready to sell it

You decide to present your ideas in a meeting.

You write an upbeat presentation selling the benefits.

The presentation goes really well and then …

…the Dementors go to work

“That’s all well and good but it won’t work here”

“It can’t be done”

“What’s the point? It won’t change anything”

“Oh, he/she’s been on a course again and got new ideas. They’ll soon pass”

“It’s a waste of time!”

“Yet more work for us to do. When are we supposed to find the time?”

“The clients won’t like it ”

“We’ll get complaints!”

… and so on, and so on

Sound familiar?

In J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” books Dementors are described as beings who ” feed on positive emotions whose very presence makes the surrounding atmosphere cold and dark. They drain peace, hope and happiness out of the air around them. The effects are cumulative with the number of Dementors present; they embody what I call “The Blame Culture” and they can be found everywhere.

The Dementors at Work suck all of the enthusiasm and energy out of every good idea. When you talk to a Dementor you come away drained by their negativity. You start off the conversation on a high note and end up feeling depressed.

Who are The Dementors at Work in your business/ team/organisation?

How can we change this ” can’t do” culture into a “will do” one?

By changing The Dementors into … Petronuses. ( A Petronus  is an “incarnation of positive feelings, such as joy and hope.  A Petronus can be viewed as the exact opposite of a Dementor”)

It is about challenging the view that “things are awful and will only get worse” and replacing it with a culture that seizes opportunities to improve, from the standpoint that ” we can achieve whatever we want to achieve”, that “anything is possible”.

To do this you need to help The Dementors change their perception of the situation.

These Negative Thinking Cycles can be transformed into Positive Thinking Cycles with sensitivity and care.

Time to Re-frame

” Reframing” is an NLP technique that I use to help bring about such a change.

Reframing involves exploring and challenging a statement to provide an alternative perspective. The emotional viewpoint is changed to another “frame” that fits the facts but changes their meaning. In this way a negative mindset can be transformed into a positive one.

When someone comes to you moaning about how bad things are or makes excuses for not being able to do something try using some of the following questions and listen carefully to their response ….

6 Questions To Help A Dementor Become a Petronus

1. What would you prefer to happen?

2. What is getting in the way of it succeeding?

3. What is stopping you?

4. How exactly is it impossible?

5. What evidence is there for that?

6. How can we make it work within our business/ organisation/with our team?

So next time you meet a Dementor at work try challenging their thinking by using one or more of these questions and see what happens. Listen carefully to their response and it may just surprise you!

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About the Author: Cath Daley is the Managing Director of The Success Business and Learning To Be. She is a Motivational Speaker, Success Coach and Trainer. With almost 30 years experience, spending over 26,000 hours teaching, training and presenting, both nationally and internationally, she is an expert in Learning and Communication. Cath holds a BSc (Hons) degree in Physics and PGCE. She was the first Advanced Skills Teacher and Trainer to be appointed in Liverpool and is an internationally qualified Master Practitioner of NLP and NLP Trainer. She holds an Advanced Diploma in Coaching ( Distinction Level) and is a Master Results Coach.

She specialises in working with individuals to improve both internal communication  ( the messages that you send yourself) and external communication ( how you communicate with others)  so that you become a confident , resourceful and compelling communicator. She uses an approach that she has developed through combining the tools and techniques of several disciplines including Accelerated Learning, NLP, Advanced Neurological Repatterning  and Ericksonian Hypnosis. Through her coaching, workshops and training days she has helped thousands of people to accelerate their success and be the best they can be.

You can download a free copy of her ebook “ 6 Common Mistakes That Limit Your Success” at www.thesuccess-business.com .

Have you ever found yourself thinking I am desperate to get out of the rat race and in the same breath thought but I have no idea how I would make money? The feeling then gets put on the too difficult pile and you batten down the hatches and face the rush hour onslaught. I propose to give you a feel of what it is like to run your own business so that you can decide whether it is for you or not. I am going to do this from a number of perspectives – in part by sharing some of my story as a new business owner and peppering that with thoughts from others more experienced than me. You may already be thinking that I am mad to start a business in a recession but if a business is recession-proof, it can only go from strength to strength in a bull market!

Know yourself and your strengths

The most important thing is to know yourself. What are you good at and what do you enjoy doing? What are the things that you do instinctively that others struggle with, so much so you may not even know what they are. If that is the case listen to what those that know you best say about you. For me there was one constant theme and that was my ability to network. Initially I did not hear what people said because I could always think of people who I thought were better at networking than me so therefore it could not be true. However I now know the validity of that statement because it is what is bringing me new business. In my network are a number of successful coaches with more established businesses than mine and they are offering me associate work. This is just as well because direct selling and marketing brings out an allergic reaction in me and I squirm whenever I do it.

Networking

There is more to say about networking and selling. I will never forget my experience of being a member of a very well known London-based women’s network when I worked for a global consulting firm. Every time I attended one of their events, I enjoyed the speaker part of the evening which was of very high quality but tolerated the opening networking time. This was because I was often surrounded by people who had their own businesses and were focused on one thing and that was selling their product or services to me and anyone else from a corporate. Networking only works when you spend time getting to know the other person and finding out what you can do to help them. In other words there are very few gains in the short term, it is about an investment of time and money but if you follow those rules and you attend regularly then dividends should follow over the long term. By long term, the view is that it will take up to 18 months to build relationships which could lead to work for you.

Be realistic about how long it takes to get to market

If like me, you tend to be optimistic when thinking about your proposed or new venture then do get a reality check. I remember being incensed when I heard a presenter at a business link event outline the pitfalls of being self-employed but I have since discovered there is some validity in what he said. It can be tough and lonely working for yourself. You need to have buckets of perseverance and belief in yourself and your idea at the beginning as set backs are very common. In particular the one thing that I have learnt is that the timescale between a lead/ prospect becoming a sale with a contract/ money in your hand can be months. It takes between five and eight interactions with a prospective client to clinch a deal. So make sure you develop a system that works for you with regard to following up new contacts. Also cultivate as many leads as you can because as many as nine out of ten can end up going nowhere.

Cash flow

Recently I attended an event where I heard the old adage cash is king in a recession especially for micro and small business owners. As a coach, I offer a service to clients. Currently I have a growing private practice and I needed to find a way to receive regular, timely payments. As part of my contract with a client, I have included a clause requesting payment by the first of each month. This means that I know what my monthly income is going to be in advance and ensures against non-payment. This works well providing clients actually sign and return a copy of the contract. I have had one or two that have procrastinated over signing the contract and invariably that has led to problems later on!

Referral arrangements

If you are going to start a venture in an area in which you have no track record then it is important to build in time to raise your profile and get known. Think about those who have circles of influence within your life that would be happy to promote your products and/ or services. Some business owners even have formal arrangements with individuals and pay them referral fees. Another short cut if you are offering a service is to work as an associate for a more established business in your field.

Being a business owner is like waiting for a bus

An analogy that I have found helpful in my first year is to think of developing a new business as a bit like waiting for a bus. Sometimes you are waiting for ages for one to turn up and become cold and fed up in the process and at other times there are a whole string of buses in a row. In other words I have weeks when I am very busy and other times which are very slow. This perspective on business gives me hope when the going is tough. That combined with remembering why I set up on my own in the first place which was because I wanted the type of work where I could control my hours and thereby spend quality time with my children too. As a business owner I have the freedom to do what I want when I want. This sounds easy but can be difficult to put into action. I realised that I was spending my working days glued to my laptop and phone. Now I build swimming and meditation into my work day routine to ensure that I balance how I use my time. Finally it has been important to me to remember to have fun too as taking oneself too seriously can impact adversely on a potential client!

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About the Author: Kate  Griffiths specialises in working with women going through the whole transition from corporate world to motherhood and the process of deciding whether to return to work and in what capacity.  She helps women recognise what they have achieved through becoming mothers and to celebrate that. She also helps women become more confident about returning to work and enable the transition at whatever stage of their journey be smoother and more enjoyable.

There is a tremendous feeling of satisfaction when you have achieved a challenging goal. It could be reaching the North Pole or winning a new client, but nevertheless that feeling of success can provide the motivation required to take on another challenge. This can be a never-ending upward cycle, but these days with the pressures that we all face in the economic climate to maintain cash flow we can suddenly find ourselves conversely moving in the opposite direction, into helplessness.

Keeping yourself motivated and focused in business is one of the toughest tests that any entrepreneur faces today. And it’s no easy problem to overcome. Life in general is much more stressful now than it was a few years ago, as we seem to be expected to operate at full speed all the time. What with running a business, finding time to fit in family, social life, and paying attention to our health and well-being too, it’s not surprising that people find little time or energy to address the issue of motivation, yet it impacts on all these aspects of our lives.

My own experiences of trying to keep motivated relate to the Arctic environment. Having completed major expeditions to the North Pole, Antarctica and Greenland, I have had to battle against extreme tiredness, whilst pulling a heavy sledge in temperatures that were cold enough to freeze your flesh in seconds and try to keep focused and positive day after day. But regardless of whether you are in the world of the Arctic or a business environment, the ability to develop AND sustain high levels of motivation is critical to your ability to perform your job effectively.

There are no simple solutions, but there are four rules that I live by ensure I stay focused and motivated.

Be clear about what you want to achieve. It’s vital that you know what your goals or targets are, and to keep focused on achieving them. This sounds simple, but the reality of what actually happens in business can be quite different. We all know people who always appear busy, but who are not doing the tasks that will help them move towards their goals. If a person feels they are making progress then it is much more likely that this progress then generates more motivation to continue.

Become aware of what you focus on. Having the ability to focus on the short-term and the long term simultaneously is a valuable skill to have in a rapidly changing environment. Immediate problems can threaten our motivation and it’s important to remember to focus on what you can control, rather than what you cannot. All too often we spend too much time and energy focusing on the things that frustrate us rather than the things that give us pleasure. In the Arctic, it’s the choice between thinking about how cold and tired you are, or focusing on the stunning landscape and marvelling at how lucky you are to be able to appreciate this remote place.

Manage your emotions. When pressures get to us, we all behave in different ways. Some people may get angry and look for other people to blame, whilst others may feel out of control and helpless. But whatever we do, our emotions will impact on our motivation, and if we want to perform to the best of our ability, we need to learn to acknowledge and manage our emotions. On our Greenland expedition, I began to realise that I couldn’t keep up with the others in the team. The guy in front got frustrated with me and I felt inadequate and worthless. The pressure began to build and could have exploded if we both had not managed our emotions effectively. In the end I realised that crying was no good (my tears just froze) so I just had to change my mindset and think of the qualities I had that were valued in the team such as my sense of humour and organisational skills.

Be yourself. One of the most important abilities you need to have if you want to maintain your motivation is to just be yourself. It’s important to think about what you value, such as fairness, or honesty and then try to live up to those beliefs. Sometimes in business, people behave in a way that they think other people expect, rather than just being themselves. Authentic people stand out because what you see is what you get.